An Allowance Is Not a Bribe And Other Helpful

In recent years, many books have been published on the topic of Jewish parenting. What sets this book apart from others is the powerful message of its author, Allan Gonsher, who is an experienced family therapist with the dual perspective of a practicing

Foreword: The Jewish Journey

xi

Parenting Jewishly

xi

Your Jewish Journey

xv

Part One

1

(148)

Parenting 101

3

(24)

Parents, Children, and God

5

(1)

Preteens Will Challenge

6

(6)

Agreement and Disagreement

12

(3)

Parents Are Role Models

15

(1)

Strive for ``Inner Tranquility''

16

(2)

Give Undivided Attention

18

(1)

Maintain a Sense of Humor

19

(1)

Know What's Appropriate

20

(2)

Relationships beyond the Home

22

(1)

Honor Thy Parents

23

(2)

Things to Consider

25

(1)

Endnotes

25

(2)

An Allowance Is Not a Bribe

27

(8)

Doing Their Share

29

(2)

Spending or Saving

31

(2)

Things to Consider

33

(1)

Endnote

34

(1)

No, Because I Said So

35

(10)

Things to Consider

42

(1)

Endnotes

43

(2)

School Is Children's Work

45

(16)

The Parent's role

46

(1)

A Case for Day School

47

(4)

Public School and the Jewish Child

51

(2)

Public School Can Cause Conflict

53

(2)

Developing Good Work Habits

55

(2)

When Special Needs Exist

57

(1)

Things to Consider

58

(1)

Endnote

59

(2)

How About after School and Summers?

61

(14)

Activities and Jewishness

63

(2)

Synagogue-based Activities

65

(1)

Avoid ``Overload''

66

(2)

During the summer

68

(1)

``48-Hour Phenomenon''

69

(3)

Things to Consider

72

(1)

Endnote

73

(2)

Making & Keeping Friends

75

(12)

Influence Isn't Interference

77

(2)

Socializing Jewishly

79

(2)

Cooperation Is Vital

81

(2)

Boy-Girl Relationships

83

(2)

Things to Consider

85

(1)

Endnotes

86

(1)

Those Awful Four-Letter Words

87

(10)

Stopping Offensive Language

90

(1)

Language Is a Tool

91

(3)

Things to consider

94

(1)

Endnotes

95

(2)

When Siblings Can't Get Along

97

(20)

Sibling Rivalry Is Age-old

99

(4)

Feelings Aren't Always Equal

103

(3)

Consistency Is Key

106

(1)

Inescapable Resentments

107

(2)

Siblings in a Jewish Home

109

(1)

Resolving Sibling Conflicts

110

(4)

Things to Consider

114

(1)

Endnotes

115

(2)

Why Are Chores/Mitzvot Such a Chore?

117

(12)

believing ``Some'', Doing ``Some''

120

(4)

``4Bs'' to Responsibility

124

(4)

Things to Consider

128

(1)

Mad, Sad, and Glad

129

(10)

As for Little Girls

131

(4)

``Glads'' May Be Easier

135

(2)

Things to Consider

137

(1)

Endnotes

138

(1)

Generation to Generation

139

(10)

Adolescence: Ups & Downs

143

(2)

The Bar and Bat Mitzvah

145

(1)

Things to Consider

146

(3)

Part Two

149

(58)

Introduction

151

(4)

Coping with Divorce

155

(18)

Breakdown Comes First

156

(4)

A Jewish Perspective on Divorce

160

(1)

Custody and Visitation

161

(4)

New Parental Roles

165

(3)

Dating Again after Divorce

168

(2)

Things to Consider

170

(1)

Endnotes

171

(2)

Coping with Death

173

(18)

``Doing Well Phenomenon''

179

(5)

Decisions about Ritual

184

(4)

Things to Consider

188

(3)

Kids with Special Needs

191

(8)

The Parent As Advocate

193

(2)

Educational Issues

195

(2)

Things to Consider

197

(1)

Endnotes

198

(1)

When and How to Choose a Therapist

199

(8)

Epilogue

207

(2)

Index

209

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An Allowance Is Not a Bribe And Other Helpful Hints for Raising Responsible Jewish Children

Summary

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials