The Best of Down Goes Brown Greatest Hits and

The greatest hits from the world's largest-and most hilarious-hockey humour blog Hundreds of thousands of hockey fans around the world are addicted to Down Goes Brown, and with good reason: Sean McIndoe is the funniest writer in hockey. His often insightful, always entertaining posts have made the site one of the top hockey blogs in the world-and definitely the most amusing. From shrewd observations to tongue-in-cheek commentary, Down Goes Brown manages to capture the essence of hockey while exposing the frequently funny side of the sport. Now, in The Best of Down Goes Brown, McIndoe himself compiles some of the blog's best-loved posts, along with a host of all-new content, in one side-splitting volume. Packed with fan favourites, including Brian Burke's Twitter Account, A Hockey Fan's Guide to the World Series, The Code: Hockey's Unwritten Rules Revealed, Behind the Scenes at the NHL's Christmas Pageant, NHL Team Facebook Feeds, Gary Bettman's Hacked E-mail Account, and more, many of which have become so ubiquitous that readers who have never even heard of Down Goes Brown know them by heart, the book is the ultimate gift book for hockey fans everywhere. Brings together dozens of the funniest articles from the premier hockey humour blog Includes the hugely popular viral hit, "The NHL's Top Secret Flowchart For Handing Out Suspensions," and many other legendary posts Features exclusive, never before seen content not available online Sure to hit hockey fans right on the funny bone, The Best of Down Goes Brown is the ultimate anthology of the very funniest writing from the world's largest hockey humour blog.

Sean McIndoe is the funniest writer in hockey. A pioneering blogger in the world of hockey humor, he grew Down Goes Brown from nothing in 2008 to the world's biggest and best hockey humor blog. Today, Down Goes Brown is one of the most popular hockey blogs in the world. Sean is also published twice weekly by the National Post, both in print and online. He posts regularly on Grantland (one of North America's most-read sports websites), and he is regularly quoted by, or a guest on, sports radio, television, and your favorite blog or podcast.

Foreword by Bob McKenzie xi

Foreword by James Duthie xv

Acknowledgments xvii

1. A Complete Transcript of Every NHL Game Ever Broadcast 1

2. The Ten Greatest Coaches in NHL History 7

3. The Other Former NHL Stars Who Interviewed for Colin Campbell’s Job 13

4. Know Your Sports: The NHL vs. the NFL 18

5. A Look Back at Game Seven of the 2011 Stanley Cup Final (which, due to a scheduling error, had to be published twelve hours early) 21

6. Take the Quiz: Do You Have a Concussion? 24

7. The Code: Hockey’s Unwritten Rules Revealed 28

8. A Moment with the Guy Who Has to Go Out and Fix the Glass When It Breaks 33

9. What an Official NHL Trade Call Really Sounds Like 37

10. The Signs of the Hockey Zodiac 40

11. The Not-So-Original Six: A Look Back at the NHL’s First Expansion Teams 44

12. The NHL’s Top-Secret Flow Chart for Handing Out Suspensions 49

13. A Brief History of Mats Sundin 52

14. Signs Your City May Not Be a Viable Hockey Market 55

15. Behind the Scenes at the Rehearsal for the Presentation of the Stanley Cup 58

16. You Wanna Go? A History of Hockey Brawls 61

17. From the Archives: The 1993 Leafs/Kings Game Six Live Blog 64

18. An In-depth Comparison: Mario Lemieux vs. Patrick Roy 72

19. The NHL’s Plan for Appealing to Video Game Fans 76

20. A Period-by-Period Recap of the 2011 Stanley Cup Final 79

21. Know Your Sports: The NHL vs. Soccer 83

22. Behind the Scenes at an NHL/NHLPA Collective Bargaining Session 87

23. Other Complaints about Brendan Shanahan 94

24. Leafs vs. Habs: Hockey’s Greatest Rivalry 97

25. The Details of Don Cherry’s Contract 101

26. An In-depth Comparison: Daniel Alfredsson vs. Zdeno Chara 104

27. Take the Quiz: How Will Your Team Do this Year? 108

28. Behind the Scenes at NHL Referee Tryouts 112

29. Come On Down: A History of NHL Game Show Appearances 116

30. The Offi cial Map of an NHL Rink 119

31. A Brief History of Wayne Gretzky 121

32. How to Spend Your Day with the Stanley Cup 125

33. Determining Whether a Goal Should Count: The NHL War Room’s Top-Secret Flow Chart 128

34. Know Your Sports: The NHL vs. MLB 131

35. The Pros and Cons of Fighting In the NHL 135

36. An NHLer’s Guide to Never Saying Anything Interesting 138

37. Democracy Doesn’t Work: A History of All-Star Voting 142

38. Take the Quiz: Should You Rebuild? 145

39. A Tale of Two Homecomings 149

40. The NHL’s Hall of Fame Application Form 153

41. Rating the NHL’s Relocation Candidates 158

42. What an Offi cial NHL Suspension Call Really Sounds Like 162

43. Other Mario Lemieux Grievances 166

44. Understanding the New Wave of Advanced Statistics 169

45. A Brief History of Teemu Selanne 172

46. Other Ways NHL Teams Use Home Ice Advantage for an Unfair Edge 175

47. Seventh Heaven: When One Game Decides the Stanley Cup 178

48. How to Dominate Your Fantasy Hockey League 184

49. A Period-by-Period Recap of the 2012 Stanley Cup Final 187

50. NHL Hockey, Then vs. Now 192

51. An In-depth Comparison: Eric Lindros vs. Peter Forsberg 197

52. Take the Quiz: Was that a Dive? 201

53. No Ties Allowed: A History of the Shoot-out 205

54. So You Want to Be the Commissioner: The NHL’s 1993 Job Application Form 208

55. The NHL’s Top-secret Flow Chart for Dealing with Scandals 213

56. Nobody Remembers Number Two: A History of First Overall Draft Picks 215

57. How to Become an Ironman 219

58. Behind the Scenes at NHL Fan Training Camp 222

59. Signs You May Be Injury Prone 225

60. Inside the NHL’s Legal Brief on the 2011 NFL Work Stoppage 228

61. An In-depth Comparison: Sidney Crosby vs. Alexander Ovechkin 231

62. Make His Head Bleed: A History of the NHL in Pop Culture 235

63. When a Day with the Stanley Cup Goes Wrong 239

64. Breaking Down the Battles: Inside Canada’s Provincial Rivalries 242

65. Welcome to the Doghouse: A History of Coach vs. Player Feuds 247

66. Know Your Sports: The NHL vs. UFC 251

67. A Hockey Fan’s Guide to Modern TV Technology 255

68. Behind the Scenes at the Matt Cooke Suspension Hearing 259

69. A Complete Transcript of Every Post-game Call-in Show Ever Broadcast 264

70. Dear Son, Welcome to Life as a Toronto Maple Leafs Fan 268

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The Best of Down Goes Brown Greatest Hits and Brand New Classics-to-Be from Hockey's Most Hilarious Blog

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials