Conservatize Me: A Lifelong Lefty's Attempt

It has been said that everyone in America is firmly planted in red or blue-permanently conservative or irreversibly liberal. But are we all really that locked in to the left or the right? A lifelong liberal, John Moe was determined to find out. So he reset his radio dials from NPR to Rush Limbaugh, joined some of today's most influential conservative thinkers for a series of "conversion sessions," made pilgrimages to the Ronald Reagan and Richard M. Nixon museums, and spent the Fourth of July in the most Bush-friendly county in the country, in an attempt to discover if there was actually a conservative trapped inside him yearning to be set free. Conservatize Me is a fresh, humorous, and highly entertaining look at our country's political landscape, one that will strike a powerful chord with millions of disgruntled Americans while stimulating the mind and tickling the funny bone.

John Moe is a regular contributor to the award-winning humor Web site McSweeneys.net and his stories, commentaries, and short humor pieces have appeared on the NPR programs All Things Considered, Morning Edition, Day to Day, and Only a Game

My Mission, Should I Choose to Accept it	p. 1
The Persuasive Powers of Shopping and Allowing Lee Greenwood into My Life	p. 11
Why Must the Media Always Discriminate Against the Make-Believe?	p. 25
Enter the Stool	p. 39
Neoconservatism Becomes Kristol Klear	p. 57
Ideologically Ambiguous Mermaids, Family Research, and the NBA Finals	p. 71
"We Get the Party Started!"	p. 89
These Crazy College Kids Today with Their Nutty, Fun-Loving, Ethically Shady Backroom Maneuvering	p. 109
Alphonso Jackson Lives in Fear	p. 115
Don't Have Gun, Will Travel Short Distances	p. 127
It Must Be Safe if it Towers Above Everything Else on the Planet	p. 137
I Put the Id in Idaho	p. 151
Independence Day	p. 165
Rexburg Is from Venus, Talk Radio is from Mars	p. 181
Moral Turpitude as it is Realized Through a Pastime not Unlike Chutes & Ladders	p. 187
Climbing Inside the Radio	p. 195
Think Globally, Conservatize Locally	p. 209
The Gay, the Kangaroo, and the Proselytizing of Sammy Sosa	p. 219
Twinkle, or Man, that Ronald Reagan Sure Loved Popcorn	p. 229
Dicky Really Is Tricky	p. 247
Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (State)	p. 263
Keepin' it Real with Ford, Coors, and Chaw	p. 275
What Ended up Happening	p. 297
Acknowledgments	p. 311
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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Conservatize Me: A Lifelong Lefty's Attempt to Love God, Guns, Reagan, and Toby Keith

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