Controlling People

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Summary

Author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship. How to recognize, understand, & deal with people who try to control you.

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Acknowledgments	p. ix
Introduction	p. xiii

Sense and Nonsense	p. 3
The Problem	p. 9
Intentions	p. 21
Beside Yourself	p. 27
The "Self" We Are Sometimes "Beside"	p. 31
Disconnection: Training, Trying, and Trauma	p. 37
Built Backwards	p. 53
Pretending and Its Impact	p. 57
Pervasive Disconnection	p. 63
Backwards Approaches	p. 69
Backwards Connections	p. 79
The Teddy Illusion	p. 89
The Spell	p. 101
The Control Connection	p. 111
The Controller and the Witness	p. 117

Plugged In and Powerless	p. 127
Signs of Separateness	p. 137
The Controller's Identity Dilemma	p. 149
Fear	p. 161
Control Tactics	p. 171
Confabulation	p. 179

Other "Close" Connections	p. 189
One Mind and the Conformity Connection	p. 203
Control: Perpetuated and Institutionalized	p. 215

The Compelling Force	p. 229
True Connection	p. 237
The Strangest Paradox	p. 243
Breaking the Spell	p. 249
Clarity	p. 265
Aligned with the Compelling Force	p. 277
Afterword	p. 283
Bibliography	p. 285
Survey	p. 287
Endnotes	p. 291
Index	p. 293
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