Conundrum

The great travel writer Jan Morris was born James Morris. James Morris distinguished himself in the British military, became a successful and physically daring reporter, climbed mountains, crossed deserts, and established a reputation as a historian of the British empire. He was happily married, with several children. To all appearances, he was not only a man, but a man's man. Except that appearances, as James Morris had known from early childhood, can be deeply misleading. James Morris had known all his conscious life that at heart he was a woman. Conundrum,one of the earliest books to discuss transsexuality with honesty and without prurience, tells the story of James Morris's hidden life and how he decided to bring it into the open, as he resolved first on a hormone treatment and, second, on risky experimental surgery that would turn him into the woman that he truly was.

JAN MORRIS (1926–), is Anglo-Welsh and lives in Wales. Educated at Oxford, and a member of the British Army, she has written over forty books, most recently, The World: Life and Travel, 1950-2000.

Introduction

vii

1 Under the piano—above the seatrans-sexuality—my conundrum

1

(7)

2 Living a falsehood—the nest of singing-birds —on Oxford—a small lump—in the cathedral—laughing

8

(9)

3 Sex and my conundrum—in the hayloft—gender and Bolsover Ma.

17

(6)

4 The colonel's greeting—as to soldiering—impostor in the mess—Otto-non-persons

23

(11)

5 Identity—precedents of sorts—Dr. Benjamin—'to alter the body!'

34

(11)

6 'Zero!'

45

(4)

7 Rescued—a grand love—objets d'art—the nightingale

49

(9)

8 Three employers—Anybody from the Guardian'—half a column—among the Egyptians—abhorrence

58

(10)

9 To Everest—the male brilliance—the male rhythm—a holy man

68

(9)

10 A trace of paranoia?—a bad world—no place for me

77

(5)

11 Pleasing my senses—the lust of Venice—the solace of Africa—sublimations

82

(8)

12 Changing sex—hormonal effects—a precarious condition—self-protection—rules

90

(12)

13 Oxford again—logistics—Jan'Come on in!'

102

(7)

14 Concerning surgery

109

(3)

15 Trefan—the last summer—on Welshnessto the magician

112

(6)

16 Casablanca—in the clinic—a stunning thought—made normal—Comrades!—new out of Africa

118

(9)

17 All for fun?—a manner suited—views of life—female sensations—forgetting

127

(10)

18 Problems still—ask a silly question—'one is baffled'—regrets?

137

(7)

19 The human condition—speculationsunder the piano still

144

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Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials