Dealing With The Tough Stuff How To Achieve Results From Key Conversations

Dealing with the Tough Stuff is the business leader's critical guide to handling difficult conversations in the workplace. Based on the science of human behaviour — both verbal and nonverbal — this book is packed full of practical and pragmatic strategies for managing conflict situations. You'll learn a variety of diagnostics, models and processes that you can start using today, and you'll benefit from expert tips, tricks and tools for leading important conversations with empathy and assertiveness. This updated second edition includes new material on key conversations with distance workers, as well as within the context of a fast-growth company, and a broad selection of real-world case studies from a diverse array of workplaces. Backed by contemporary psychological theory and time-tested amongst thousands of leaders, these highly relevant suggestions give you the power to deal with the tough stuff effectively and compassionately.

The human element plays a large part in the manager's role, yet many lack the training needed to deal with people effectively. This book helps you understand what makes people tick, and helps you develop the human skills you need to manage.

• Achieve clarity and directness in your communications
• Deal with anger, stubbornness and defensiveness
• Develop the skills to manage immediate crises
• Set priorities, and build a foundation of strong communication

Avoiding the tough stuff can be extremely costly for managers, staff and the business as a whole. No one enjoys these conversations, but they are inevitable — and the right set of skills goes a long way toward making them run smoothly, with greater results out the other side. Dealing with the Tough Stuff is your indispensable primer on human behaviour, and effectively navigating tough conversations at work.

Behavioural scientist DARREN HILL and psychologists ALISON HILL and DR SEAN RICHARDSON are directors of the behavioural strategy company Pragmatic Thinking. They work with forward thinking companies to equip and support managers and leaders to work more confidently with people. The first edition of Dealing with the Tough Stuff is now available in four languages.

About the authors ix

Acknowledgements xi

Introduction xv

1 What’s your tough stuff? Getting clear on what’s tough for you 1

2 Dealing with the tough stuff — Foundational skills 13

3 Dealing with the fl uff stuff — Getting more direct in your language and achieving clarity 37

4 Dealing with the unsaid stuff — Ensuring maximum leverage from your non-verbal communication 59

5 Dealing with the remote stuff — Having the key conversations when geography is an issue 73

6 Dealing with the gruff stuff — Addressing anger and managing high emotions 93

7 Dealing with the huff stuff — Dealing with resistant, defensive and stubborn behaviour 109

8 Dealing with the rapid stuff — Addressing the tough issues in a rapid-change environment 133

9 Dealing with the rough stuff — The big three: restructure, redundancy and dismissal 151

10 Dealing with the bluff stuff — Handling emotional manipulation in the workplace 173

11 Dealing with the off-the-cuff stuff — Building skills to handle immediate crises 193

12 Dealing with enough stuff — Prioritising things that matter 209

Conclusion 225

Index 231

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