Depression For Dummies

The good news on beating the blues 

Do you want the good, the bad, or the best news first? OK, the bad news is that an estimated 264+ million people worldwide suffer from a depressive illness. The good news is that we know how to defeat these illnesses better than ever before using a growing range of highly effective psychotherapies, medications, and other therapeutic methods that are improving all the time. And the best news: because of these advances, the majority  of people no longer need to suffer the debilitating—and sometimes dangerous—effects of long-term depressive illness.

The new edition of Depression For Dummies shows how you can make this happen for you by providing the latest and best information on how to banish the noonday demon and bring the sunshine back into your world. In this friendly, cheerful, no-nonsense guide, leading clinical psychologists Laura L. Smith and Charles H. Elliot give you the straight talk on what you face and proven, practical advice on how to punch back and win. Showing you how to know your enemy, they demystify common types of depression, explain its physical effects, and help identify the kind you have. Armed in this way, you can take firmer steps toward the lifestyle changes—as well as therapy or medication—that will put you back in control.

• Learn about different forms of depression 
• Build simple, daily habits into your life that help banish the blues 
• Understand conventional, alternative, and experimental therapies 
• Move on: avoid relapses and stay happy!  

Whatever your level of depression—occasional bouts or long-term—this book gives you the insight, the tools, and the inner strength and persistence to put enjoyment back in your life.  

Laura L. Smith, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and former President of the New Mexico Psychological Association.

Charles H. Elliott, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and Professor Emeritus at Fielding Graduate University.

Introduction 1

About This Book 2

Foolish Assumptions 3

Icons Used in This Book 3

Beyond the Book 4

Where to Go from Here 4

Part 1: Discovering Depression and Preparing a Plan 5

Chapter 1: Demystifying and Defeating Depression 7

Just Singing the Blues or Depressed? 8

The Varying Faces of Depression 8

Young and depressed 9

Depression in seniors 10

Real men don’t get depressed, or do they? 10

Women and depression 11

Depression and diversity 12

Adversity and depression 12

Adding Up the Costs of Depression 12

Financial costs of depression 13

Previewing personal costs of depression 13

Detailing depression’s physical toll 14

Feeling Good Again 15

Exploring cognitive therapy 15

Trying behavior therapy 16

Reinventing relationships 16

Finding biological solutions 16

Feeling Better Than Good 17

Celebrating Sadness 17

Chapter 2: Detecting Depression 19

Recognizing the Ravages of Depression 20

Dwelling on bleak thoughts 20

Dragging your feet: Depressed behavior 22

Reflecting upon relationships and depression 23

Feeling funky: The physical signs of depression 24

The Faces of Depression 26

Can’t even get out of bed: Major depressive disorder 27

Chronic, low-level depression: Persistent depressive disorder 29

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder: Horrible hormones? 31

Major depression after a bundle of joy 32

Depressive disorders and drugs 34

Depressive disorders and diseases 35

Adjustment disorder with depressed mood: Dealing with adversity 36

And all the rest 38

Good Grief! Is Depression Ever Normal? 39

Digging Out the Causes of Depression 40

Monitoring Mood 42

Chapter 3: When Bad Things Happen 45

Loss and Depression During a Pandemic 46

Losing connections 46

Losing core freedoms 47

Feeling insecure 48

Coping during a pandemic 49

Financial Stressors 50

Emotional accounting 51

Dollars and sense accounting 51

Discrimination and Depression 52

Defending against discrimination 53

Living with discrimination 54

Domestic Violence and Depression 55

Disasters and Depression 56

Chapter 4: Breaking Barriers to Change 57

Flushing Out the Fear of Change 58

Fearing more losses 59

Fearing inconsistency 60

Finding Change-Blocking Beliefs 61

Dealing with dependency and inadequacy 61

Uncovering an undeserving outlook 63

Fighting the unfair fight 65

Rejecting the victim role 65

Tackling perfectionism 68

Analyzing your findings 69

Saving Yourself from Self-Limitations 71

Tracking saboteurs 72

Suspending judgment 74

Going slow 74

Appreciating how progress proceeds 75

Rewriting your reams of failure stories 76

Chapter 5: Finding Help for Depression 79

Stumbling onto a Solution 80

Pursuing the Psychotherapy Option 80

The effective therapies 81

Who’s who in psychotherapy 82

Finding the right therapist for you 84

Deciding whether your therapist is a good match 85

Debunking myths about therapy 87

Talking to a Professional about Antidepressant Medication 90

Exploring the Self-Help Option 92

Deciding whether self-help is a solution 92

Reviewing the resources 93

Part 2: Understanding and Accepting Thoughts and Feelings 95

Chapter 6: Understanding the Thought/ Feeling Connection 97

Understanding Emotions 98

Feelings emerge from your body 98

Feelings sprout from your thoughts 100

Feelings guide your behavior 101

Interpreting Thoughts 102

Distinguishing thoughts from feelings 103

Emotions and thoughts: A two-way street 104

Exploring Emotion-Driven Behavior 105

Feelings are not facts 105

Feelings drive avoidance 106

Chapter 7: Defeating Distorted Thinking 109

Recognizing Thought Distortions 110

Meeting the reality scramblers 111

Looking at reality scramblers in action 114

Making Misjudgments 118

Shoulding on yourself 119

Critically comparing 121

Labeling libelously 122

Assigning blame to the wrong source 124

Chapter 8: Rethinking Thoughts Lurking Behind Depression 127

Building a Thought, Feeling, and Event Tracker 128

Finding Adaptive Replacement Thoughts 130

Tracking feelings and thoughts 132

Checking the evidence 134

Finding replacement thoughts 137

Rating your replacement thoughts 138

Rethinking from start to finish 140

Opening a Thought-Repair Toolkit 141

Giving your problem to a friend 142

Putting time on your side 143

Putting thoughts to the test 144

Revisiting your all-or-none thinking 146

Facing the worst 147

Chapter 9: Accepting Thoughts and Feelings 151

Avoiding Avoidance 152

Drawing the Line Between You and Your Mind 153

Losing Your Mind 154

Thinking about negative thoughts as facts 154

Thanking your mind! 155

Playing with your mind’s thoughts 156

Resisting what is 158

Living anytime but now 159

Living Mindfully 161

Acquiring acceptance 162

Accepting without judging 163

Living as if no one will know 164

Connecting with experience 164

Chapter 10: Thinking the Worst: Suicide 171

Warning Signs of Suicide in Adults 172

Troubling symptoms in adults 173

Risk factors in adults 175

Recognizing Signs in Children and Teens 179

Symptoms in children and teens 180

Risk factors in children and teens 181

Choosing Life and Getting Help 182

Suicide hotlines 183

Emergency departments 183

Part 3: Taking Action Against Depression 185

Chapter 11: Getting Out of Bed 187

Taking Action 188

I don’t feel motivated to do anything 188

I’m too tired and depressed to do anything 189

If I try, I’ll just fail 189

I’m just a lazy person 189

Putting One Foot in Front of the Other: Activity Logs 190

Conquering Can’ts 192

Reviewing your thoughts 192

Testing the waters 193

Charting Your Course through Negative Predictions 194

Giving Yourself Credit 196

Chapter 12: Working Out to Lift Depression 199

Why Exercise? 200

Mental health benefits: Endorphins 200

Physical health benefits 201

Conquering Couch Potato-itis 202

Easing into Exercise 204

Weighing Your Exercise Options 206

Pumping iron 207

Revving up your heart and lungs 207

Yikes! Yoga? 208

Chapter 13: Rediscovering Healthy Pleasures 209

Taking Fun Seriously 209

Striking the right balance 210

Understanding the need for fun 210

Making a List and Checking It Twice 211

Fighting the Pleasure Busters 214

Guilt busters 214

Expecting the worst 218

Chapter 14: Solving Life’s Headaches 221

Drawing Up the Problem-Solving Game Plan — S.O.C.C.E.R. 222

Assessing Your Problem Situation (S) 223

Come up with a description of the problem 224

Reflect on your feelings about the problem 224

Consider the causes of the problem 224

Search for information about the problem 225

Consider the importance of the problem 225

Check out solution-interfering beliefs 225

Foraging for Options (O) 226

Letting go 227

Thinking visually 228

Permitting playfulness 228

Reviewing your options 229

Contemplating Consequences (C) 230

Choosing Your Plan (C) 231

Consulting the friend within 232

Choosing sides 233

Handling Your Emotions (E) 234

Holding the dress rehearsal 235

Talking to yourself 235

Running and Reviewing (R) 236

Part 4: Rebuilding Connections 239

Chapter 15: Working Through Loss, Grief, and Mourning 241

Losing What You Care About 242

Losing someone 243

Transitioning through life 245

Facing the challenges of isolation 247

Breaking up is so hard to do 248

Working Through Grief 249

Reconstructing the relationship 250

Rolling through roles 253

Chapter 16: Relationship Enhancement 255

The Depression-Rejection Connection 256

Exaggerating the negative 256

Looking for negative feedback 257

Fighting off constructive criticism 258

Pursuing Positives 258

Giving compliments 259

Doing nice things 259

Planning positive times together 260

Introducing nice into your everyday routine 261

Defeating Defensiveness 262

Trying the Checking It Out strategy 263

Depersonalizing 264

Getting Your Message Across 267

Using the I Messages technique 267

Creating buffers 268

Defusing criticism 268

Putting the techniques to work 269

Part 5: Fighting the Physical Foe: Biological Therapies 271

Chapter 17: Prescribing Pleasure 273

Hammering Depression: Choosing the Right Tool 274

Exploring the Medication Option 275

Taking medication the right way 277

Opting out of medication 278

Working with Your Doctor to Find the Correct Medication 279

The Seductive Myth of Chemical Imbalance 281

Plunging into Placebos 282

Drugs for Depression 284

SSRIs 284

Other neurotransmitter medications 285

Tricyclics 286

MAO inhibitors 287

Looking Beyond Antidepressants 287

Mood stabilizers 288

More help for severe depression: Antipsychotics 288

A few more for the road 289

A brief word about ketamine 289

Chapter 18: Hype, Help, or Hope? Alternative Treatments for Depression 291

Keeping Your Doc in the Loop 292

Exploring Supplements, Herbs, and Vitamins 293

Happy Foods 295

Lighting Up the Darkness 296

Treating Severe Depression 297

Shocking depression 297

Stimulating nerves 298

Magnetizing depression 299

Searching Further 299

Part 6: Looking Beyond Depression 301

Chapter 19: Reducing the Risk of Relapse 303

Risking Relapse with Depression 304

Determining what’s going on 304

Evaluating relapse rates 305

Getting personal about your risks 305

Preparing a Prevention Plan 307

Sustaining success 307

Monitoring the signs 308

Using a fire drill 309

Reaching for well-being 311

Reining In Relapse When It Occurs 314

Chapter 20: Mending Your Memory 317

Making Sense of Memory 318

Memory for now: Immediate memory 318

Juggling items in memory: Working memory 319

Memory for the long haul: Long-term memory 319

Bringing back memories: Memory retrieval 320

Depressing Disruptions on Your Memory 320

Effects on immediate memory 320

Effects on working memory 320

Effects on long-term memory 321

Effects on retrieval 321

Worrying about Forgetting 322

Boosting Broken Memory 323

Inputting stuff 323

Developing routines 324

Smelling (and touching and seeing) the roses 324

Remembering names 325

Chunking 325

Getting rid of distractions 326

Following through 326

Revving up recall 326

Chapter 21: Pursuing Happiness 327

The Elusiveness of Happiness 328

Making the case for being happy 328

Looking for happiness in all the wrong places 329

Culture and happiness 330

Language and happiness 332

Getting on the Right Path to Real Happiness 333

Feeling gratitude 333

Helping others 335

Finding flow 336

Focusing on strengths 337

Rejecting the quick fix 339

Finding forgiveness 340

Searching for meaning and purpose 341

Part 7: The Part of Tens 343

Chapter 22: Ten Ways Out of a Bad Mood 345

Chomping on Chocolate 345

Doing Something Nice 346

Getting a Lift from Exercise 346

Singing Yourself into a Better Mood 346

Calling a Long-Lost Friend 347

Dancing to a Different Beat 347

Soaking the Blues Away 347

Petting Your Way to a Better Mood 347

Taking a Hike 348

Mellowing Through Mindfulness 348

Chapter 23: Ten Ways to Help Kids with Depression 349

Finding Fun 349

Doling Out Discipline 350

Giving Feedback 350

Climbing Every Mountain 351

Revving Up Responsibilities 351

Talking and Listening 351

Recognizing Depression 352

Looking Under Rocks 352

Getting Help 353

Loving No Matter What 353

Chapter 24: Ten Ways to Help a Friend or Lover with Depression 355

Recognizing Depression 355

Referring for Help 356

Listening Without Solving 357

Taking Care of Yourself 357

Holding Criticism at Bay 358

Depersonalizing Depression 358

Finding Patience 358

Remembering to Care 359

Providing Encouragement and Remaining Hopeful 359

Exhorting Exercise 360

Appendix: Resources For You 361

Index 365

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