Divorce Rules for Men

, by Martin M. Shenkman; Michael J. Hamilton

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ISBN: 9780471360292 | 0471360295
Cover: Paperback
Copyright: 11/1/2000

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Getting Divorced?Protect Yourself . . . and Your Money "This book combines basic tax law with the practicalities of protective analysis and negotiation technique. It provides an extremely valuable 'thinking man's' checklist. Women should also find the book interesting reading." -DAVID CLURMAN, PHILLIPS NIZER BENJAMIN KRIM & BALLON LLP "This is an invaluable treatise that guides men through every 'nook and cranny' of the divorce process, from the decision to split to its lifelong aftermath. I wish this book had been available twenty-five years ago when I went through my own divorce." -DAVID W. SMITH, PRESIDENT, AMERICAN SOCIETY OF CORPORATE SECRETARIES You are not alone. The statistics are startling. Close to 50% of marriages end in divorce, and everyone-from your children to your spouse-will benefit from your preparation for the rough road ahead. Divorce Rules for Men gives you hard-hitting practical advice, with numerous real-life examples, on how to save thousands of dollars on your divorce. It will give you information on finding the right attorney, filing procedures, negotiating an equitable property settlement as well as alimony or maintenance and child support, communicating with your children, and preparing for divorce court. Authors Martin Shenkman and Michael Hamilton cover every aspect of the divorce process, including: * What you need to know before filing for divorce * Getting back on your feet afterward * How to do your own divorce * How to protect your assets Don't go into a divorce proceeding unprepared. Divorce Rules for Men gives you all the information you need to get through the rough spots and come out ready to start a new life.

Introduction: What This Book Will do for You

xvii

Before You File for Divorce: What You Need to Know

(20)

Be Decisive about the State of Your Marriage

(1)

Don't Be Confrontational

(1)

Don't Let the Divorce Process Become a War Zone

(1)

Keep Your Cool

(1)

Don't Do Anything Illegal

(1)

Get the Skeletons out of Your Closet

(1)

Don't Push Your Wife's Hot Buttons

(1)

Clean Up Your Life

(1)

Become a Model Citizen If You Aren't Already

(1)

Limit Future Involvement with Your Wife

(1)

Don't Assume Your Prenuptial Agreement Is Carved in Stone

(1)

Keep a Low Profile

(1)

Negotiate from the Positive: Concentrate on What You Agree on First

(1)

Don't Threaten Your Ex-Wife

(1)

Keep in Mind That Men and Women Approach Divorce Differently

(1)

Know Your Stuff: What Does Your Wife Really Want?

(1)

Know What Your Household Expenses Really Add Up To

(1)

Be Familiar with Your Children's Lives

(1)

Know Your Wife's Spending Habits and Budgets for Childcare Expenses

(2)

Know Your Wife's Financial Dealings

(1)

Know What Your Wife's Assets Are

(1)

Understand the Legal Process of Divorce

(2)

Finding the Right Lawyer

(22)

Consider Not Hiring a Lawyer, to Save Money

(1)

Pick the Right Lawyer for Your Case

(2)

Interview Your Attorney Thoroughly before You Hire

(1)

Get Your Information Together to Reduce Your Legal Fees

(3)

Make Sure You Control the Divorce Process

(2)

Make Sure Meetings with Your Ex and the Lawyers Are Productive

(1)

Make Sure Your Wife Has Proper Legal and Financial Representation

(1)

Consider Arbitration as an Option

(1)

Consider Mediation as an Option

(2)

Find a Qualified Mediator

(1)

Don't Use the Court System for Revenge

(1)

When Your Divorce Is Finalized, Get Your File

(1)

Update Your Estate Planning Documents to Keep Your Wife from Getting All Your Assets

(1)

Make Sure Your Wife No Longer Has Authority to Tell the Doctors to ``Pull the Plug'' on Your Medical Care

(1)

Make Sure Your Wife Will Not Inherit Everything You Have

(3)

Consider Disclaiming Your Inheritance

(1)

What You Need to Know before You Leave Home

(14)

Don't Leave the House until Your Lawyer Says You Should

(1)

Plan Ahead before You Move

(1)

Line Up Experts to Help You in Your Divorce

(1)

Be Certain You Have a Nest Egg in Your Name

(1)

Cut up Credit Cards with Your Wife's Name

(2)

Take a Picture of Every Asset You Own

(2)

Safeguard Important Data on a Backup Computer Disk

(1)

Minimize or Eliminate Your Wife's Involvement with Your Business

(2)

Try to Stay on Good Terms with Your In-Laws

(1)

Get a Post Office Box

(3)

Communicating with Your Children

(24)

Prepare for the Pain of Missing Your Children

(1)

Try to Keep Anger out of the Divorce Process, for the Sake of Your Children

(1)

Try Not to Damage Your Children

(1)

Explain Everything to Your Children

(2)

Adapt Your Explanations to Each Child's Age and Maturity

(2)

Maintain Ongoing Communications and Contact with Your Children

(1)

Prevent Your Ex from Turning the Children Against You

(1)

Play Smart to Get More Time with Your Children

(1)

Establish an Appropriate Visitation Arrangement

(1)

Consider Different Types of Custody

(3)

Understand How Your Custody Arrangement May Influence Your Child Support Payments

(1)

Express Your Emotions

(1)

Handle Visits with Your Children Properly

(1)

Remain Civil to Your Ex-Wife

(1)

Keep a Log of Visitation

(1)

Develop a Better Relationship with Your Children

(1)

Never Use Your Children to Get What You Want

(1)

Give Your Children Time to Discover the Real You

(1)

Keep Your Children in Touch with Relatives

(1)

Give Your Children Permission to Love Mom's New Partner

(1)

Be a Reliable Dad about Seeing Your Children

(2)

Don't Sue for Sole Custody to Get a Better Financial Package

(2)

Alimony, Maintenance, and Child Support

(30)

Don't Expect Sympathy from the Court System-It Can Be Cruel out There

(1)

Get Real If You Want a Deal

(1)

Know How Much and What Type of Alimony You Should Pay

(3)

Keep Records of All Your Alimony and Child Support Payments

(5)

Demonstrate What Your Wife Can Earn

(1)

Help Your Wife Get Back on Her Feet

(2)

Be as Methodical as Possible with Bank Deposits and Other Transactions

(1)

Keep in Mind That Your Standard of Living Establishes Maintenance Levels

(1)

Document All Cash Transactions

(1)

Don't Try to Starve or Freeze Your Wife Out

(1)

Analyze and Then Negotiate Responsibility for Your Children's Education Costs

(1)

Allocate Trust Funds for Your Children's Education and Other Expenses

100

(5)

Find Out If You Can Get Alimony

105

(1)

Keep in Mind That Separate Assets Can Create Support Obligations

106

(2)

Limit Child Support When It Becomes Excessive

108

(1)

Don't Think That Moving Overseas Will Enable You to Avoid Paying

108

(3)

Negotiating the Property Settlement and Debt Allocation

111

(34)

Prepare Yourself Emotionally for the Potential Settlement

113

(1)

Pick a Negotiation Strategy

114

(2)

Determine Whether Your Divorce Is No Fault or Whose Fault

116

(1)

Use a Loan to Equalize Assets That Are Difficult to Divide

117

(1)

Don't Nickel and Dime Just Because Your Ex Does

118

(1)

Don't Let Your Insurance Coverage Lapse during the Divorce Process

119

(1)

Understand Equitable Distribution

120

(2)

Be a Good Sleuth to Win the Divorce Lottery

122

(2)

Assume Your Wife's Accountant Will Find the Bank Transactions You Forgot About

124

(1)

Look for Bank and Other Transactions Your Wife ``Forgot'' About

125

(1)

Protect Separate Assets from Your Ex

126

(2)

Recognize That Your Retirement Accounts Are Complex and Important

128

(2)

Protect Your Pension Retirement Assets

130

(4)

Know the Laws If You Live in a Community Property State

134

(1)

Keep in Mind That Debts May Present Community Property Issues

135

(1)

Settle Your Case If It Is Highly Technical and Complex

136

(1)

Don't Underestimate the Judge

136

(1)

Keep Alert for Steps Your Ex Might Take Affecting Assets

137

(1)

Protect Your Stock Options and Other Contingent Assets

138

(1)

Remember That Settlements Are Not Only about Cash

139

(1)

Get All the Details Clear and in Writing

140

(1)

Find Out about Your Ex-Wife's Debts and Liabilities

140

(3)

Don't Sign a Bad Deal Intending to Break It Later

143

(1)

Beware of Refinancing the House

143

(2)

Dealing with a Business or Professional Practice

145

(24)

Use a Voting Trust to Protect Your Business while Settling Your Divorce

147

(3)

Gather the Information Necessary to Value Your Ex-Wife's Business or Professional Practice

150

(6)

Get Your Own Business Appraised

156

(4)

Use Clever Approaches to Quickly and Inexpensively Value a Business

160

(2)

Review All Appraisals and Valuations of Significant Assets

162

(1)

Report All Business Deposits Properly

163

(1)

Don't ``Cook the Books'' of Your Closely Held Business

164

(2)

Beware of Business Activities That Can Adversely Affect Your Access to Assets

166

(1)

Don't Pay Your Lawyer from Your Business

167

(2)

Tax Tips and Traps to Avoid

169

(18)

Don't Forget the Tax Man

171

(2)

Tell Uncle Sam about the Split

173

(1)

Split Your Portfolio to Save Taxes

173

(1)

Know the Special Tax Laws That May Affect the Sale of Your Former Marital Residence

174

(1)

Understand How Payments to Your Ex Will Be Taxed

175

(1)

If You Want Payments to Your Ex to Be Deductible, Follow the Rules

176

(2)

Tax Considerations of Property Settlements

178

(1)

Split Your IRA to Avoid Tax Problems

179

(1)

Get All Necessary Records from Your Spouse as Part of the Divorce Settlement

179

(1)

Claim Your Children as Dependents for Tax Savings

180

(2)

Don't Automatically File a Joint Income Tax Return

182

(1)

Consider Filing Separate Tax Returns Even before You Divorce

182

(2)

Come Clean on Tax Problems before They Bite You in the Back

184

(1)

Change Your W-4 to Reduce Your Tax Withholding and Help Out Cash Flow

184

(3)

Preparing for Divorce Court

187

(12)

File First: The Early Bird Gets the Worm

189

(1)

Review All Facts and Your Testimony to Prepare for the Trial

190

(1)

Know How to Behave on the Stand

191

(4)

Know What Not to Do as a Witness

195

(1)

Don't Alienate or Antagonize Your Wife's Attorney

196

(1)

If You Don't Know or Don't Remember Something, Just Say So

196

(1)

Keep in Mind That Your Behavior off the Stand Is Also Important

197

(1)

Remember Your Children's Birthdays in Court

197

(1)

Before You Challenge Your Wife, Have Your Ducks (and Facts) in a Row

198

(1)

Getting Back on Your Feet after Divorce

199

(12)

Get on with Your Personal Life

201

(1)

Learn to Deal with Depression and Other Emotions Effectively

201

(2)

Be Realistic about Your New Financial Picture

203

(1)

Take a Postdivorce Financial Planning Checkup

203

(2)

Consider Leasing Assets as an Option to Purchasing Them

205

(1)

Review Your Insurance Protection

206

(3)

Make Sure You Control Access to Your Safe Deposit Box

209

(2)

Handling Legal, Financial, and Other Problems That Don't End with the Divorce

211

(10)

Know Your Rights If Your Ex Violates Your Divorce Agreement

213

(1)

Protect Your Finances If You Remarry to Minimize Your Ex-Wife's Re-petitioning the Court

213

(1)

Find Out If Your Ex Is Cohabiting

214

(1)

Don't Give the Court Any Information That Is Not Specifically Required

214

(1)

Try to Prevent Your Ex from Moving with the Kids out of State

215

(1)

Protect Yourself If You Need to File for Bankruptcy

216

(1)

Understand How Your Bankruptcy Could Help You

217

(1)

Understand How Your Ex-wife's Bankruptcy Can Hurt You

218

(1)

Join a Support Group

219

(2)

Conclusion

221

(2)

Recommended Readings and Additional Sources of Information

223

(2)

Index

225

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Divorce Rules for Men

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials