The EROS Equation A ?Soul-ution? for Relationships

Based on the idea that it is our own response to a situation — rather than the situation itself — that creates a particular outcome, The EROS Equation is a unique approach to improving relationships. Instead of focusing on difficult partners or problems, author and relationship adviser Eve Eschner Hogan enables us to uncover new and creative responses in ourselves using the EROS equation. As she explains in the introduction, Hogan developed this problem-solving tool through years of work with clients, colleagues, and in her own marriage. She named it the EROS equation because it can be written as Event + Response = Outcome and Solutions (E + R = O and S). Invocative of the Greek god of love, this empowering outlook leads to deeper self-knowledge and more harmonious relationships. Writing in accessible, short chapters, Hogan uses real-life examples to look at typical relationship issues, from daily annoyances to extramarital affairs. She highlights common responses that don’t work and applies the EROS equation to show us how our own wisdom, intuition, and creativity can reveal solutions. The EROS Equation makes clear that by changing an unhelpful, habitual response that blocks understanding, we can create a loving and solution-oriented outcome.

Eve Eschner Hogan is an inspirational speaker and author specializing in creating healthy relationships—in the workplace, the home, and the heart. She is the author of multiple books including Way of the Winding Path, How to Love Your Marriage, Virtual Foreplay, Intellectual Foreplay, and is a relationship columnist for Spirituality and Health Magazine. Eve is also the Executive Director of the Divine Nature Alliance a 501(c)3 public charity that runs The Sacred Garden on Maui and the Peace Starts Here Project. She is the owner of Heart Path Journeys, which offers personalized, private retreats on Maui and co-owner of Makena Coast Dive Charters. With a Master’s Degree in Confluent Education and a Teaching Credential, Eve has served as a relationship adviser in newspapers, magazines, and websites for nearly 15 years and serves as a relationship coach for individuals, couples, families and organizations.

Introduction

EROS—The God of Love
Why Love Is Not Enough

Common Sense, Uncommon Knowledge
A Blueprint of the Human Being
Life Strategies that Don’t Work on Love
Powerful Relationship Principles

Just Because You Believe It, Doesn’t Mean It Is True
What Are Your Love Beliefs?
Believing Isn’t Attractive, Choices Are

Reawakening to Who You Are
The Golden Buddha
Self-Esteem, an Over-Used Phrase for an Under-Experienced Quality
Finding Your Power
A Prescription for Self-Strengthening
Resilience Training
Values—Guideposts to the Goal

Uncommon Knowledge
Learning to Appreciate the Ego
Commitment —The Ego Trigger
Being an Ego Magnet
Clearing the Blocks to Being Loved
Clearing the Blocks to Being Loving
Developing a Self-Talk Interpreter
Victim No More
The Beauty of Fear
What Do You Treasure?

The EROS Equation
What Is Your Target
Everyone Else and Everything External
Response—Ability
Outcome
Solutions
When the Grass Is Greener
Four Response Options
Negotiate
Resist What Is
Get Out
Acknowledge and Accept What Is
Step Into Creativity, Step Into Love

Five Essential Life and Love Skills
Remember Who You Are and What You Want
Self-Observe
Transcend the Ego Needs
Reconnect, Re-calibrate
Choose Aligned Actions

Creating a No Drama Zone
Stop Playing the Blame Game
Integrity Choices
Transforming Anger Into Love and Understanding
The Flag on the Mountain Top of Emotions
Letting Go of Resistance

Applying EROS to Dating

Applying EROS to Getting Married

Applying EROS to Chores

Applying EROS to Preferences

Applying EROS to Money

Applying EROS to Health

Applying EROS to Monogamy

Applying EROS to Sex

When the Equation Doesn’t Add Up
Managing Mental Health and Substance Abuse in Relationships

A Practice Makes You Stronger

The Power of the Moment

A Breath Away