The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New

As an award-winning author of both nonfiction and fiction and a psychiatrist in practice for 35 years, Yalom imparts his unique wisdom in this remarkable guidebook for successful therapy.

Irvin D. Yalom, M.D., is the author of Love's Executioner, Momma and the Meaning of Life, Lying on the Couch, and When Nietzsche Wept, as well as several classic textbooks on psychotherapy, including Existential Psychotherapy and the most widely used work on group therapy, The Theory and Practice of Group Therapy. He is Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry at Stanford University and divides his practice between Palo Alto, California, where he lives, and San Francisco

Introduction

xiii

Acknowledgments

xxiii

Remove the Obstacles to Growth

1

(3)

Avoid Diagnosis (Except for Insurance Companies)

4

(2)

Therapist and Patient as ``Fellow Travelers''

6

(5)

Engage the Patient

11

(2)

Be Supportive

13

(4)

Empathy: Looking Out the Patient's Window

17

(6)

Teach Empathy

23

(3)

Let the Patient Matter to You

26

(4)

Acknowledge Your Errors

30

(3)

Create a New Therapy for Each Patient

33

(4)

The Therapeutic Act, Not the Therapeutic Word

37

(3)

Engage in Personal Therapy

40

(4)

The Therapist Has Many Patients; The Patient, One Therapist

44

(2)

The Here-and-Now---Use, It, Use It, Use It

46

(1)

Why Use the Here-and-Now?

47

(2)

Using the Here-and-Now---Grow Rabbit Ears

49

(3)

Search for Here-and-Now Equivalents

52

(6)

Working Through Issues in the Here-and-Now

58

(4)

The Here-and-Now Energizes Therapy

62

(3)

Use Your Own Feelings as Data

65

(3)

Frame Here-and-Now Comments Carefully

68

(2)

All Is Grist for the Here-and-Now Mill

70

(2)

Check into the Here-and-Now Each Hour

72

(2)

What Lies Have You Told Me?

74

(1)

Blank Screen? Forget It! Be Real

75

(8)

Three Kinds of Therapist Self-Disclosure

83

(1)

The Mechanism of Therapy---Be Transparent

84

(3)

Revealing Here-and-Now Feelings---Use Discretion

87

(3)

Revealing the Therapist's Personal Life---Use Caution

90

(4)

Revealing Your Personal Life---Caveats

94

(3)

Therapist Transparency and Universality

97

(2)

Patients Will Resist Your Disclosure

99

(3)

Avoid the Crooked Cure

102

(2)

On Taking Patients Further Than You Have Gone

104

(2)

On Being Helped by Your Patient

106

(3)

Encourage Patient Self-Disclosure

109

(3)

Feedback in Psychotherapy

112

(3)

Provide Feedback Effectively and Gently

115

(4)

Increase Receptiveness to Feedback by Using ``Parts''

119

(2)

Feedback: Strike When the Iron Is Cold

121

(3)

Talk About Death

124

(2)

Death and Life Enhancement

126

(3)

How to Talk About Death

129

(4)

Talk About Life Meaning

133

(4)

Freedom

137

(2)

Helping Patients Assume Responsibility

139

(3)

Never (Almost Never) Make Decisions for the Patient

142

(4)

Decisions: A Via Regia into Existential Bedrock

146

(2)

Focus on Resistance to Decision

148

(2)

Facilitating Awareness by Advice Giving

150

(5)

Facilitating Decisions---Other Devices

155

(3)

Conduct Therapy as a Continuous Session

158

(2)

Take Notes of Each Session

160

(2)

Encourage Self-Monitoring

162

(2)

When Your Patient Weeps

164

(2)

Give Yourself Time Between Patients

166

(2)

Express Your Dilemmas Openly

168

(3)

Do Home Visits

171

(3)

Don't Take Explanation Too Seriously

174

(5)

Therapy-Accelerating Devices

179

(3)

Therapy as a Dress Rehearsal for Life

182

(2)

Use the Initial Complaint as Leverage

184

(3)

Don't Be Afraid of Touching Your Patient

187

(4)

Never Be Sexual with Patients

191

(4)

Look for Anniversary and Life-Stage Issues

195

(2)

Never Ignore ``Therapy Anxiety''

197

(3)

Doctor, Take Away My Anxiety

200

(1)

On Being Love's Executioner

201

(5)

Taking a History

206

(2)

A History of the Patient's Daily Schedule

208

(2)

How Is the Patient's Life Peopled?

210

(1)

Interview the Significant Other

211

(2)

Explore Previous Therapy

213

(2)

Sharing the Shade of the Shadow

215

(2)

Freud Was Not Always Wrong

217

(5)

CBT Is Not What It's Cracked Up to Be...Or, Don't Be Afraid of the EVT Bogeyman

222

(3)

Dreams---Use Them, Use Them, Use Them

225

(2)

Full Interpretation of a Dream? Forget It!

227

(1)

Use Dreams Pragmatically: Pillage and Loot

228

(7)

Master Some Dream Navigational Skills

235

(3)

Learn About the Patient's Life from Dreams

238

(5)

Pay Attention to the First Dream

243

(3)

Attend Carefully to Dreams About the Therapist

246

(5)

Beware the Occupational Hazards

251

(5)

Cherish the Occupational Privileges

256

(5)

Notes

261

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The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials