I'll Never Be a Hand Model And Other Stories I Tell My Therapist

From banjo-playing aliens and bikini waxes to crushing on John Denver and men in tight football pants, Sarah Lemire has been entertaining readers for years with her award-winning humor columns. Collected here for the first time in I'll Never Be a Hand Model: and Other Stories I Tell My Therapist, these slice-of-life vignettes will have you laughing at Sarah's hilarious spin on her ordinary life. Dysfunctional family trips, sarcastic observations, and childhood blunders all tumble together with wit, charm, and a heaping dose of secondhand embarrassment.

Sarah Wesley Lemire is originally from Minneapolis and has spent the last two decades in the Northeast unsuccessfully trying to lose her Midwestern accent and figure out the difference between a hoagie and a sub. She is an award-winning writer and humor columnist. Her work appears in the NY Daily News, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, and in the books Flash Nonfiction Funny (Woodhall Press, 2018) & Opinionated Women in the Land of Steady Habits (ELM Grove Press, 2018). Follow Sarah on Twitter @swlemire or Instagram @sarah_wesley_lemire and tune into her lifestyle podcast, Hack The Chat.