It's Not That I'm Bitter . . . Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World

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ISBN: 9780312547271 | 0312547277
Cover: Paperback
Copyright: 6/8/2010

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In this collection of hilarious essays that mull everything from the horror of chin hairs to why the "glass ceiling" is better described as a thick layer of men, Barreca tells women to stop believing the lies and conquer the world.

Acknowledgments	p. xiii
Introduction to My Girlish Way of Looking at Things	p. 1
Am I Turning into One of the Smith Brothers?	p. 10
Don't Say "Cougar" Like It's a Bad Thing	p. 18
Who Is Your King Charming?	p. 30
Why Do Women Worry About Everything While Men Worry About Nothing?	p. 36
Does Your Cup Runneth Over?	p. 46
How Can a "Gift" Not Be Free?	p. 50
Who are You Calling a Second Wife?	p. 55
Why Do They Call It a Glass Ceiling When It's Really Just a Thick Layer of Men?	p. 59
Who's Funnier?	p. 65
Why Do We Envy Others? (Like There's Anybody Else to Envy?)	p. 75
If You Don't Pay Your Exorcist, Do You Get Repossessed?	p. 79
Where are the Ouija Women When You Need Them?	p. 87
What Do You Mean, "Lose Weight Fats"?	p. 93
What I Wish I'd Known Sooner	p. 97
Why Do I Make Myself Miserable for Paying Another Woman to Clean My House?	p. 101
Would Satan Floss?	p. 105
Why Do I Feel Pity for My Clothes?	p. 109
Why, Oh Why, Did I Watch No Country for Old Men After Shopping at Ann Taylor?	p. 113
How Much of a Crazy Astronaut Lady Are You?	p. 117
"Will This Shroud Make Me Look Fat?"	p. 123
Is Wednesday Now Sunday?	p. 127
Where's Carrie Fisher When You Need Her?	p. 130
Wherever Did You Find That Outfit?	p. 135
Why Childless Women Make Good Mothers	p. 142
Why Is Nostalgia Not Like It Used to Be?	p. 146
How to Read Your Reunion Yearbook	p. 151
Where Have All the Breck Girls Gone?	p. 155
Is Feminism's Theme Song Still "Yes, We Have No Bananas"?	p. 159
Are You a Food Hypocrite?	p. 168
Fifty-two Things I Learned by Fifty-one	p. 172
Yes, It Is My Real Color, Since I Paid for It	p. 179
Who Needs a Husband, Anyway?	p. 183
Why Have I Never Heard a Man Say, "Oh, the Next Month Is Going to Be Really Busy Because I'm Getting Ready for the Holidays"?	p. 187
Is That an Angel on My Sparkly Straightjacket?	p. 190
Who're You Calling Santa's Baby?	p. 198
Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?	p. 202
Like, Seriously, Is Anybody More Judgmental Than a Teenage Girl?	p. 207
Taking Your Act on the Road	p. 211
Babes in Politics Land	p. 216
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It's Not That I'm Bitter . . . Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World

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