Meaty Essays

Smart, edgy, hilarious, and unabashedly raunchy New York Times bestselling author Samantha Irby explodes onto the printed page in her uproarious first collection of essays.

Irby laughs her way through tragicomic mishaps, neuroses, and taboos as she struggles through adulthood: chin hairs, depression, bad sex, failed relationships, masturbation, taco feasts, inflammatory bowel disease and more. Updated with her favorite Instagramable, couch-friendly recipes, this much-beloved romp is treat for anyone in dire need of Irby's infamous, scathing wit and poignant candor.

Don't miss Samantha Irby's new book, Quietly Hostile, coming soon!

Samantha Irby writes a blog called bitches gotta eat.

Part 1: Brunch: An Instagram Frittata
At Thirty
Awkward First Date
I Want to Write Your Mom’s Match.com Profile
My Mother, My Daughter
The Triplets
This Is Why I’m Poor
Skin Rashes and Arthritis
The Tapeworm Diet
I Want to Put a Fat Bitch on Network Television

Part 2: Good (Food) in Bed: Having Diarrhea All the Time Is the Worst
Milk and Oreos
Black Beauty
The Many Varieties of Hospital Broth
The Terror of Love
Sorry I Shit on Your Dick
How to Get Your Disgusting Meat Carcass Ready for Some New, Hot Sex
Massive Wet Asses

Part 3: Dinner on the Couch
Forest Whitaker’s Neck
Bitches Are My Jam
A Bearded Gentleman
Would Dying Alone Really Be So Terrible?
I Really Don’t Eat This Much Salad!
Thumbsucker
I Should Have a Car with Power Windows by Now

End: Ooh, Dessert. And Cocktails!

Acknowledgments

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Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials