The Myths of Happiness What Should Make You Happy, But Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, But Does

Happiness expert Sonja Lyubomirsky's research-based lessons in how to find opportunity in life's thorniest moments In The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky isolates the major turning points of adult life, looking to both achievements (marriage, children, professional satisfaction, wealth) and failures (singlehood, divorce, financial ruin, illness) to reveal that our misconceptions about the impact of such events is perhaps the greatest threat to our long-term well-being. Lyubomirsky argues that we have been given false promises-myths that assure us that lifelong happiness will be attained once we hit the culturally confirmed markers of adult success. This restricted view of happiness works to discourage us from recognizing the upside of any negative life turn and blocks us from recognizing our own growth potential. Our outsized expectations transform natural rites of passage into emotional land mines and steer us to make toxic decisions, as The Myths of Happinessreveals. Because we expect the best (or the worst) from life's turning points, we shortsightedly place too much weight on our initial emotional responses. The Myths of Happinessempowers readers to look beyond their first response, sharing scientific evidence that often it is our mindset-not our circumstances-that matters. Central to these findings is the notion of hedonic adaptation, the fact that people are far more adaptable than they think. Even after a major life change-good or bad-we tend to return to our initial happiness level, forgetting what once made us elated or why we felt that life was so unbearable. The Myths of Happinessoffers the perspective we need to make wiser choices, sharing how to slow the effects of this adaptation after a positive turn and find the way forward in a time of darkness. In The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky turns an empirical eye to the biggest, messiest moments, providing readers with the clear-eyed vision they need to build the healthiest, most satisfying life. A corrective course on happiness and a call to regard life's twists and turns with a more open mind, The Myths of Happinessshares practical lessons with life-changing potential.

SONJA LYUBOMIRSKY is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside. Her research—on the possibility of permanently increasing happiness— has been honored with a Science of Generosity grant, a John Templeton Foundation grant, a Templeton Positive Psychology Prize, and a million-dollar grant from the National Institute of Mental Health. Lyubomirsky’s 2008 book, The How of Happiness, has been translated into nineteen languages. She lives in Santa Monica, California, with her family.