Polyamory : Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: an Introduction on Polyamory

, by Ravenscroft, Anthony D.

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ISBN: 9781890109530 | 1890109533
Cover: Paperback
Copyright: 8/1/2004

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Part I. Background & history

01. What are we talking about, anyway?

(8)

02. Reinventing the wheel: why polyamory won't change the world

(11)

03. So, you want to be polyamorous!

(13)

04. The usual questions

(3)

05. About swingers

(3)

06. Avoid the common mistakes

(2)

07. Overview: what polyamory actually requires

(10)

08. Other sides of the coin

(4)

09. The first fatal steps

(7)

10. Prepare your sacrifices

(3)

11. You will screw up

(7)

12. Relationship is not security

(2)

13. Communication: the big lie

(5)

14. You don't know what you're saying: language & metalanguage

(4)

15. It sucks to be secondary

(1)

16. It sucks to be primary

(2)

17. It sucks to be polyamorous

(2)

18. The jealousy thing

(2)

19. Swim or die

(4)

20. Vindication through sabotage

(3)

21. Polyamory or promiscuity?

(1)

22. Pregnancy, disease, legal action, & other distractions

(5)

Part II. How to actually be polyamorous

23. Core requirements of polyamory

103

(9)

24. Good theory & $5 will get you a double mocha

112

(2)

25. Lifelong intent, day-to-day attitude

114

(2)

26. Learning to deal with change

116

(4)

27. Figuring out what you are

120

(3)

28. What are your motivations?

123

(4)

29. Why polyamory?

127

(2)

30. Honesty: risking yourself & others

129

(4)

31. Friend- vs. family-oriented

133

(1)

32. What will the neighbors think (and should we care)?

134

(5)

33. Communicating with a partner or other life-form

139

(4)

34. Levels of attraction: define "love"

143

(1)

35. Love, conditional & otherwise

144

(1)

36. Creating a dyad

145

(5)

37. Problem-solving: how to fight

150

(4)

38. The tyranny of time

154

(2)

39. Hierarchy, whether you like it or not

156

(9)

40. Children

165

(1)

41. The mixed-marriage problem

166

(4)

42. Dating outside the couple front

170

(7)

43. The sexual credit bureau

177

(2)

44. Then, the sex starts

179

(2)

45. The doubtful triad

181

(6)

46. Changing gears

187

(3)

47. Jealousy sucks, get used to it

190

(1)

48. Surviving the radical reversal

191

(5)

49. NRE: when "common sense" is an oxymoron

196

(2)

50. Finding poly friends

198

(4)

51. Searching for your true new love

202

(3)

52. We sleep together, therefore we're partners

205

(2)

53. Care and feeding: relationship maintenance

207

(4)

54. Falling in & out of poly

211

(2)

55. Empower everyone

213

(5)

56. How open, how closed?

218

(1)

57. Reaching the end

219

(6)

58. The balancing act: multiplicity

225

(5)

59. Firm but flexible: to the future, right?

230

(2)

60. Giving up your freedom

232

(2)

61. Scheduling: jobs and other nuisances

234

(3)

62. Creating & using a network

237

(2)

63. Talk to each other

239

(5)

64. Sex vs. communication

244

(2)

65. Having a social life out of bed

246

(3)

66. Creating a household: living together as a method of suicide

249

(3)

67. The infamous dishwashing schedule

252

(2)

68. Be nice to you

254

(4)

69. Time out: sex has limits

258

(2)

70. A little more sex education

260

(2)

71. Signs that things are going to Hell

262

(3)

72. The Ref

265

(7)

73. Falling back in love

272

(2)

74. Toward a culture of polyamory

274

(3)

75. About this book

277

(2)

Epilogue: Real Community; or, Why I Sound Like an Activist

279

(3)

Resources: Real people in virtual bunches

282

(2)

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Polyamory : Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: an Introduction on Polyamory

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