Creating a Healthy Life and Marriage : A

The material provided in this book was gleaned from Judith Desjardins' personal journey of healing and transformation. It is a modern day "mental health almanac," filled with insight into all the seasons of growth in relationships--childhood, teen years, young adult, mature adult. The unique holistic approach teaches you how to achieve balance in your relationships and your relationship with your Self. This book is for young people, single adults, and married couples. It is practical and educational, inspiring and poignant. With the credibility of someone who has traveled the path she describes, Judith Desjardins provides a wealth of wisdom and practical self-help tools for those longing to create lives and marriages that nourish their highest and most authentic selves. The message of this book is one of hope and optimism that we can improve ourselves and our relationships with others.

Preface: The Oldest Ship	p. 1
Introduction	p. 5
Preparing Yourself to Be the Best Possible Mate	p. 11
The Value of Hard Work	p. 13
Family of Origin	p. 23
Childhood Coping Mechanisms	p. 35
Understanding Your Inner Child	p. 70
A Holistic Commitment to Your Self	p. 77
Sharing My Developmental Process	p. 95
Introduction to Section Two	p. 97
My Family of Origin	p. 98
My Inner Child/Children	p. 105
My Struggles as an Adult	p. 115
Learning New Rules to Live By	p. 121
Examples of "Self-Help" Tools	p. 128
Selecting the Best Possible Mate	p. 133
Examine Your Motives for Wanting Love and Marriage	p. 135
Personal Inventory	p. 143
Review of Significant Past Relationships	p. 151
Partner "Wish List"	p. 159
Working Together to Achieve a Healthy Relationship	p. 167
Introduction to the Dating Phase	p. 169
Dating Phase	p. 172
Commitment to Monogamy Phase	p. 177
Enchantment Phase	p. 181
Disillusionment Phase	p. 183
Surviving Imperfection Phase	p. 190
A Collection of Inner Child Work	p. 195
Dispelling Stereotypes About Therapy	p. 197
Inner Child Work	p. 200
Working Together to Achieve a Healthy Marriage	p. 239
General Couple's Questionnaire	p. 241
Marriage of Two Adults and Two Inner Children	p. 257
The Engagement/Wedding	p. 271
Developing Relationship Skills	p. 277
Introduction to Section Seven	p. 279
Boundaries: Understanding the "What" and "How"	p. 283
The "Martial Art" of Fighting Fair	p. 298
Money Management: The Ultimate "Hot Button"	p. 306
Sex: When Does it Become "Love Making"?	p. 318
A Spiritual Perspective	p. 331
God/Higher Power	p. 333
Forgiveness: A "Spiritual" Skill That We Need to Acquire	p. 338
Afterword: Reflections	p. 349
Appendices
Direct Passages from Erik H. Erikson's: Childhood and Society	p. 351
Section Eight: Reference to Corrie ten Boom quote	p. 354
References and Other Reading Material	p. 355
Art Work Featured in the Text, Printed in Full Color	p. 357
Index	p. 379
About the Author	p. 387
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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Creating a Healthy Life and Marriage : A Holistic Approach: Body, Mind, Emotions and Spirit

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