The Quotable A**hole

Whoever said, "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" never met an a**hole. Here, you'll find more than 1,200 of the most biting quotes, comments, and comebacks ever uttered, including: "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence." --George Bernard Shaw "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." --Muhammed Ali You won't just find quotes from typical a**holes like Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin, and Mark Twain, either. You'll also see what happens when practically perfect folks like Walt Disney, Mahatma Ghandi, and Audrey Hepburn lose their cool. So embrace your dark side and get ready to enjoy every over-confident, over-blown, over-the-top a**hole comment you'll ever need.

Eric Grzymkowski is a humor writer and aspiring a**hole. When not writing, he can be found flipping off unsuspecting motorists, cutting in line at the supermarket, and talking on his cell phone at the movies. He lives in MA, where he spends the majority of his time searching for witty comebacks to use in obscure situations.