Everything I Didn't Want to Know, I Learned at Draper
p. 70
Drink, Fight and Vigorously Copulate
p. 74
English 101
p. 77
Euphemisms
p. 82
Ever Fear
p. 86
Eyes Wide Shot
p. 88
Female Porn
p. 90
Frogs, Dogs and David Arquette
p. 93
Gone to Hell
p. 96
Good Friday the 13th
p. 100
Guns (I Know)
p. 103
How to Raise a Conservative
p. 108
How to Succeed in Politics Without Really Trying
p. 111
I'm Older
p. 115
I Killed Someone
p. 118
Liberate Computers
p. 121
The Cult
p. 125
The Apostle
p. 129
The Council
p. 133
Love
p. 137
Michael Bolton, My Phone and $400
p. 141
Modern Medicine
p. 145
Not Tie the Knot?
p. 148
Of Strippers
p. 153
Parenting
p. 156
Perfection (I Love)
p. 160
Phadreus, Revisited
p. 162
Phants and Asses
p. 166
Prayer for the Dying
p. 170
Religion 101
p. 173
Saints and Spending
p. 177
Saving Romeo
p. 180
Sex and the Oklahoma City
p. 184
Snag-A-Mate
p. 190
Socks
p. 193
Tales from the ER
p. 197
Thank God for Evolution
p. 200
The Animals are Against Us
p. 204
The Car is Dead, Long Live the Car
p. 208
The Communion
p. 211
The Covenant of Condiments
p. 214
The Female Conspiracy
p. 217
The Marquees de Salvation
p. 221
The Mile High Drudge
p. 224
The Other Percent
p. 228
The Ten Commandments, Revised
p. 233
Touristus Cluelessus
p. 241
Urban Myth
p. 245
Wanted by the FBI
p. 248
Wanted: One Mate
p. 251
War
p. 255
Waves
p. 260
Welcome to DanAir
p. 264
Welcome to Denny's
p. 267
You Know You're Obsessed With Sex When...
p. 270
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