Tell Him He's Pele The Greatest Collection of Humorous Football Quotations Ever!

My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about seven -David Beckham I've been playing in a golf day for a boy seriously injured in a car accident. I had to drive like a lunatic to get here -Ray Houghton, TalkSport football pundit, on why he was late on-air. I'm never one to make excuses, but I couldn't see the ball because the floodlights were in my eyes -Damien Duff I?ve never been so certain about anything in my life. I want to be a coach. Or a manager. I?m not sure which -Phil Neville Footballers may not be known for their profound insights, but it seems no one in the game is above a mixed metaphor or confused clich?. From Harry Redknapp to Martin O?Neill, Patrice Evra to Jason McAteer, see the funny side of the beautiful game with this hilarious collection of verbal own goals. Packed full of hilarious quotes, quips and misfires from the biggest names in football,When the Seagulls Follow the Trawleris a must for everyone with a sense of humour.

Phil Shaw is a freelance sports writer with 30 years' experience on national newspapers. He reports on football for the Daily Telegraph, Guardian, Independent, and Scotland on Sunday, and is a co-compiler for The Book of Football Quotations.