The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?

From the world’s most acclaimed expert on verbal abuse comes the first book that answers the question foremost in every woman’s mind: can he really change?

Combining practical applications with the latest clinical research with the trademark support and assurance of Evans, The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He change? shows victims of verbal abuse how to empower themselves, improve their relationships, and change their lives for the better.

Patricia Evans is the bestselling author of four books, including The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out, Controlling People, and The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change? A highly acclaimed interpersonal communications specialist, public speaker, and consultant, Evans has appeared on Oprah, CNN, CBS News, Fox News, She Knows, and on numerous national radio programs. Her work has been featured in Shape, Newsweek, and O, The Oprah Magazine. Evans lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and can be reached via her website at VerbalAbuse.com.

Foreword by William L. Higgins, Ph.D

ix

Introduction: The Verbal Abuser—Can He Change?

xiii

1 About Change

1

(10)

2 The Verbally Abusive Man and Dream Woman

11

(24)

3 Types and Origins of Verbal Abuse

35

(18)

4 Does Counseling Help? Some Therapists Don't Know

53

(22)

5 Is Change Possible?

75

(8)

6 The Partner Wants Him to Change

83

(10)

7 What Motivates Him to Change?

93

(14)

8 How to Prepare for the Agreement

107

(8)

9 How to Present the Agreement

115

(14)

10 How to Write the Agreement

129

(16)

11 Men Seeking Change

145

(10)

12 The Process of Change

155

(22)

13 He Won't Agree

177

(14)

14 Has He Changed'

191

(10)

15 Choosing to Stay or Go

201

(20)

Epilogue: Change Is Essential

221

(6)

Appendix A: Verbally Abusive Statements

227

(20)

Appendix B: Also by the Author

247

(2)

Appendix C: Resources

249

(4)

Appendix D: Recommended Reading

253

(2)

Appendix E: Web Sites for Custody Information

255

(2)

Reader Survey

257

(4)

End notes

261

(4)

Index

265

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The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials