Why Girls Talk--and What They're Really

Helps parents cut through the drama of teenage daughters and maintain positive emotional connections Because adolescent girls tend to talk so much, parents often assume that girls are easier to communicate with than boys. In reality, much of what teenage girls say is the opposite of a healthy expression of emotion--often taking the form of fighting, brooding hostility, or, at times, over involvement.While recent bestsellers such as Queen Bees and Odd Girl Out explore the social and psychological pressures that inform teenage girls' behaviour, they provide little or no guidance on how to manage the communication problems that develop between parents and their daughters.

Susan Morris Shaffer an educator for more than 30 years, provides assistance to state education agencies and public schools in the areas of gender and multicultural education.

Linda Perlman Gordon, L.C.S.W., M.Ed. (Chevy Chase, MD) is a clinical social worker, trained mediator, and graduate of the prestigious Family Therapy Practice Center.

Acknowledgments

ix

Introduction

xi

Life in the Balance

PART I Understanding Your Daughter's World

Why Girls Talk---and What They're Really Saying

3

(18)

Golden Girl

21

(24)

Tyranny of Beauty and Culture

The Mirror Has Many Faces

45

(34)

Challenges to Building Competent Spheres

Focus on Adolescent Girls of Color

79

(16)

Making the Transition

95

(20)

The Experiences of Everyday School Life

Girls as Friends

115

(22)

Best Buddies and Friendly Fire

PART II Cutting Through the Chatter and Finding Connection

Parenting

137

(26)

What's Love Got to Do with It?

Passing on Our Stories

163

(10)

Helping Our Daughters to Appreciate the Women Who Made Today's Opportunities Happen

13 Strategic Solutions for Parents of Adolescent Girls

173

(18)

It's About That Time

191

(14)

Girls and Boys Together

APPENDIX A Positive Parenting

205

(2)

The Law of Return

APPENDIX B Focus Group Interview Guide

207

(2)

Adolescents

APPENDIX C Focus Group Interview Guide

209

(2)

Parents

APPENDIX D Depression in Adolescent Girls

211

(2)

APPENDIX E Warning Signs of an Eating Disorder

213

(4)

References

217

(12)

Index

229

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Why Girls Talk--and What They're Really Saying : A Parent's Survival Guide to Connecting with Your Teen

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials