Your Family, Inc.: Practical Tips for

Did you know eighty-five percent of family firms do not survive the third generation? Your Family, Inc.: Practical Tips for Building a Healthy Family Business will help the busy entrepreneur lower this drastic failure rate by providing you with great tips and practical advice for creating a successful and pleasant environment when working in the family business.

Ellen Frankenberg, Ph.D. is a family psychologist now specializing in consulting to families in business, and is a columnist for Family Business magazine.

Introduction

1

(4)

The Geometry of a Healthy Family

5

(12)

Recognize When You're Caught in a Family Triangle

6

(1)

Name Your Family's Norms

7

(2)

You May Be a ``Here-and-Now'' Kind of Guy, but Your Emotions May Be Caught in the Past

9

(1)

Sometimes Everyday Relationships Become Familiar

10

(1)

In a Family Firm, Your Father's Voice May Really Be the CEO's Voice

11

(1)

Qualify Yourself, so You Stand on Your Own Credentials

12

(1)

If You Plan to Work in the Family Firm, Get Out of Town

12

(1)

When You're in the Family Circle, Respect Its Boundaries

13

(1)

Keep Your Business Out of the Family Party

14

(1)

Consensus, Consensus, Consensus

15

(1)

Your Company Will Turn Out to Be a Triangle

16

(1)

Know Which Hat You Are Wearing: The Business Hat or the Family Hat

17

(12)

Recognize When You're Being Asked to Respond As a Family Member and When You're Not

17

(3)

Know What's Inside Your Family Circle

20

(2)

Know What's Inside Your Business Circle

22

(2)

Develop Strategies to Keep the Family Firm Accountable

24

(1)

Business Decisions Need to Be Made for Business Reasons

25

(2)

The Priorities of the Family and the Priorities of the Business Are Opposites

27

(2)

Ownership Has Its Privileges, and Its Hazards

29

(16)

Ownership in a Family Firm Is a Job Too; Doing It Right Can Mean the Difference Between Disaster and Success

32

(3)

Before Transmitting Stock, Think It Over Twice: Would I Want This Relative Making Decisions About My Future Livelihood?

35

(1)

Ownership in a Family Firm Means Learning How to Build Consensus, Consensus, Consensus

36

(1)

As an Owner, Take the Long View

37

(1)

The Key to Healthy Ownership of the Family Firm Is the Same As the Key to Any Significant Investment: Information, Information, Information

38

(1)

If You Build a Family Forum, They Will Come

39

(2)

Develop Criteria for Future Leadership in Advance

41

(2)

Each Generation Must Reinvent the Company Through Innovation, Innovation, Innovation

43

(2)

Competition in the Family Firm: Sibling Rivalry

45

(12)

Sibling Relationships Are the Longest in Our Lives and Have Great Power Within the Family Firm

47

(1)

More Than 85 Percent of Family Firms Do Not Survive the Third Generation

48

(1)

Birth Order Often Defines Sibling Relationships

49

(2)

Monarchy Was Rejected by the United States, but Not by All Family Firms

51

(1)

Birth Order Outweighs Gender As a Differentiating Factor in Defining Leadership Styles

52

(1)

Develop Practical Strategies for Managing Rivalry in the Family Firm

53

(4)

Preparing Your Daughter to Become CEO

57

(10)

Messages from You Will Shape Your Daughter's Dreams

58

(2)

Support the Development of All Her Talents

60

(1)

Offer Specific Compliments to Reinforce Real Accomplishments

60

(1)

Encourage Her to Take Risks, According to Her Age and Skills

61

(1)

Help Her Define Realistic Goals

61

(1)

Give Your Daughter Equal Air Time

62

(1)

Ask Her About Her Dreams of Greatness

62

(1)

Let Her Know That Her Capacity for Empathy and Consensus Building Are Valued Assets

63

(2)

During the Twentieth Century, Women Have Become a New Species

65

(1)

The Family Firm Can Become a Lab for ``Family-Friendly'' Practices

66

(1)

Partners in Business, Partners in Marriage

67

(14)

Happily Married Couples Have Separated from Their Families of Origin

68

(1)

Happily Married Couples Build Both Togetherness and Autonomy

69

(1)

Happily Married Couples Become Parents

70

(2)

Happily Married Couples Cope with Crises Together

72

(1)

Happily Married Couples Make a Safe Place for Resolving Conflict

72

(2)

Create Time and Space for Sex and Romance

74

(1)

Happily Married Couples Share Laughter and Common Interests

75

(2)

Happily Married Couples Create and Re-Create a Positive Emotional Bond

77

(2)

Preserve a Shared Vision

79

(2)

Not to Decide Is to Decide: Decision Making in the Family Firm

81

(16)

Focus on the Not Urgent, but Important

82

(1)

Develop a Family Forum

83

(3)

Develop a Family Strategic Plan to Complement the Business Strategic Plan

86

(2)

Easy Gifts and Easy Hires Can Lead to Hard Times for the Family Firm

88

(2)

Develop a Family Mission Statement

90

(1)

Recognize the Power of Your Family's Sayings

91

(1)

Each Generation Has to Redefine the Family Mission

92

(1)

Continue to Define Core Values for Children with Great Wealth

93

(1)

Discuss Together the Possible Elements of a Strategic Family Plan

94

(3)

Standards of Success in Family Firms

97

(14)

Write Down a List of Standards Against Which You Evaluate Your Firm

98

(1)

Develop a Board of Advisors Tailored to Your Family Firm

98

(2)

The Best Strategy Is to Develop Your Own Strategic Plan

100

(1)

Family Assets Remain Part of the Balance Sheet in Any Major Decision

101

(1)

Develop a Method to Measure Family Member Assets

102

(4)

Build Consensus Together, Based on Your Family Members' Values

106

(1)

The Process of Building Consensus Can Bring the Family Together

107

(2)

Sometimes, All the King's Horses and All the King's Men Can't Put the Family Company Together Again

109

(1)

At the End of Life, Recognize Your Own Capacity for Love and Work, and the Ways Your Family and Your Business Have Enriched Each Other

110

(1)

References

111

(1)

Resources for Further Reading

112

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Your Family, Inc.: Practical Tips for Building a Healthy Family Business

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials