Ask Outrageously! The Secret to Getting What You Really Want

Stop Holding Yourself Back—It’s Time to Go Ask!


The strongest relationships, top sales groups, and most successful organizations have one thing in common: people who have the courage to ask outrageously. This doesn’t mean being obnoxious or taking advantage of people. It means not compromising, taking a risk to get what you know you need, not what you think you can get.

Based on Linda Swindling’s original research and her experience helping people make high-stakes requests in everything from business negotiations to marriage proposals, this book offers proven approaches to improve your asking and boost your chances of success. Whether you are a professional looking for a bigger opportunity, an entrepreneur striving to build a company, a nonprofit seeking funding, or simply a parent or friend wanting a more fulfilling relationship, it’s time to make that big ask! Get ready. Your results will surpass your greatest expectations!

Linda Byars Swindling, JD, is a negotiation expert, strategic consultant, Certified Speaking Professional, and Board Certified Coach and the president of Journey On, an executive development company. She is the author of several books, including The Manager’s High-Performance Handbook and Stop Complainers and Energy Drainers.

Introduction: Ask Outrageously! 1

How to Get Outrageous Results from This Book 11
Define “Outrageous”
No Difficulties Asking? Why You Still Need This Book

Assessment: How Well Do You Ask? 18

1 Proof You Should Ask Outrageously 19
What’s Difficult about Asking
Top Ten Reasons to Ask Outrageously

2 Show Up Powerfully 31
Identify Your Strengths Strategies to Convey Confidence

3 The Right Focus 45
Why You Need to Get Over Yourself Prepare to Ask Boldly

4 What’s in It for Them? 53
Easy Asks
The Importance of Timing

5 Trust and Respect 71
Manners Matter
“What” and “How” Questions

6 Ask Everywhere—All the Time 93
Talk to Strangers
Raises and Promotions

7 Blocks 113
The ASK Strategy How to Banish Blocks

8 Asking for Others 127
Self-Interest versus Selfishness Wintegrity

9 Authority 139
Dealing with Decision Makers
You Need Help—and How to Get It

10 Tailor Your Ask 153
The DEAL Strategy
Your Communication Bias

11 Calm under Pressure 175
Out of the Ordinary Requests Ask Away or Walk Away

12 Outrageous Results 197
High-Stakes Requests
Best Practices of Master Requesters

A Final Note 209

Resources: Secret Success Tools 211

Acknowledgments 217

Index 223

About the Author 227