A Change of Habit Leaving Behind My Husband, Career, and Everything I Owned to Become a Nun

The soulful, hilarious memoir of a chronic people pleaser who surprised everyone in her life by abandoning an unfulfilling career and marriage to join a convent—and learned how much we stand to gain when we fully embrace our authentic selves.

In her twenties and thirties, Monica Clare was a talented but exhausted photo editor who spent her days getting yelled at by clients who were often strung out on cocaine and megalomania. For years, the voice calling her to a simpler, quieter life had been getting louder. As a little kid, she’d seen Audrey Hepburn in The Nun's Story, and thought: that’s me. That’s how she found herself straightening her habit nervously as she walked into a convent, preparing to live alongside eleven other sisters who’d taken the same vow of poverty and celibacy…indefinitely. Could a chronically fidgety, pop culture-obsessed woman of the world ever fit in, she wondered? And why did the other nuns seem so cold and disapproving?

As the months went on, she realized the other nuns were shy, not unfriendly—much like herself. The culture at the convent discouraged giving compliments, or even saying “please” or “thank you,” since acts of generosity were to be freely given and received. But when Monica rose to the role of Sister Superior, she got the policy against compliments changed. Relationships started to blossom, first awkwardly and then more easily. Who would have predicted that Sister Christina, the one she thought had deeply disliked her from the start, would turn out to be a huge hugger? Or that they’d spend entire afternoons trying to keep a wild turkey from running amok in their community garden?

Equal parts tell-all and rallying cry, A Change of Habit reveals how much we can say yes to when we stop laboring to prove our worth to ourselves and others. In her role as a spiritual counselor, Sister Monica guides people from all walks of life towards resisting the false promises of capitalism, finding healing in small acts of nurture and connection, and ultimately, restoring themselves to a place of wholeness, all while living in this gorgeously messy world of ours.

Sister Monica Clare is the Sister Superior at the Community of St. John Baptist, an Episcopal convent based in New Jersey, and a spiritual counselor specializing in religious trauma, mental illness, and addiction. Before becoming a nun in 2012, she worked as a photo editor in L.A. and performed in an acoustic rock duo and an improv comedy troupe.