Difficult Conversations

Walks the reader through a proven step-by-step approach for how to have your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. Reveals how to prepare, how to start the conversation without defensiveness, and how to keep it constructive and focused, regardless of how the other person responds. Softcover. DLC: Interpersonal communication.

Foreword

vii

Roger Fisher

Acknowledgments

ix

Introduction

xv

The Problem

1

(20)

Sort Out the Three Conversations

3

(18)

Shift to a Learning Stance

21

(108)

The ``What Happened?'' Conversation

23

(2)

Stop Arguing About Who's Right: Explore Each Other's Stories

25

(19)

Don't Assume They Meant It: Disentangle Intent from Impact

44

(14)

Abandon Blame: Map the Contribution System

58

(27)

The Feelings Conversation

83

(2)

Have Your Feelings (Or They Will Have You)

85

(26)

The Identity Conversation

109

(2)

Ground Your Identity: Ask Yourself What's at Stake

111

(18)

Create a Learning Conversation

129

(106)

What's Your Purpose? When to Raise It and When to Let Go

131

(16)

Getting Started: Begin from the Third Story

147

(16)

Learning: Listen from the Inside Out

163

(22)

Expression: Speak for Yourself with Clarity and Power

185

(16)

Problem-Solving: Take the Lead

201

(16)

Putting It All Together

217

(18)

A Road Map to Difficult Conversations

235

(14)

A Note on Some Relevant Organizations

249

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Difficult Conversations

Summary

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials