Help! I'm a Military Spouse-I Want a Life Too!
, by Hightower, Kathie
- ISBN: 9781597970679 | 1597970670
- Cover: Paperback
- Copyright: 2/28/2007
Make the most of this challenging but extremely rewarding life. Suport your spouse and craft a life for you-based on who you are as an individual. You will learn: 5 keys to happiness for your life with the military, How to strengthen your relationship with your spouse, Ways to make and maintain friends as you move, How to tap into the richness and possibilities of this lifestyle, 70 creative and practical ways to follow your own dreams, while you follow the military.
| Preface | p. xix |
| Acknowledgments | p. xxiii |
| Prologue: Why Should I Believe You Two? | p. xxvii |
| What If I Don't Fit This Life?: The Myth of the Perfect Military Spouse Versus Authenticity and Uniqueness | p. 1 |
| What about That Mythical Creature Who Shows Up during Deployments? | p. 3 |
| The Keys to Happiness and What That Means to You: What the Research on Happiness Tells Us about Your Life with the Military | p. 7 |
| First Key to Happiness: Seek Out Friends and Support | p. 8 |
| Second Key to Happiness: Cultivate Faith | p. 8 |
| Third Key to Happiness: Discover Simple Joys | p. 9 |
| Fourth Key to Happiness: Know What You Want and Take Action to Achieve It | p. 9 |
| Fifth Key to Happiness: Work from Your Strengths to Serve a Greater Good | p. 11 |
| Resources | p. 13 |
| Seek Out Friends and Support: How to Make Friends and Stay Connected as You Move | p. 15 |
| Find Other Newcomers | p. 16 |
| Attend Activities That Interest You and Talk with People | p. 16 |
| Connect with Other Military Spouses during Deployments | p. 18 |
| Don't Limit Yourself to Activities on Post or Base | p. 21 |
| Too Shy to Speak Up? | p. 21 |
| Create Your "Agenda" | p. 22 |
| Be Curious | p. 23 |
| Ask for a Job | p. 24 |
| Find or Create Your Tribe! | p. 24 |
| How Do You Make Time for Your Friends? | p. 25 |
| Make and Keep Friends for Life | p. 26 |
| Reach Out to Those Who Are New | p. 27 |
| Resources | p. 27 |
| If the Military Wanted You to Have a Spouse, They Would Have Issued You One: Relationship Resources and Ideas | p. 29 |
| Find Something for Yourself and Strengthen Your Relationship | p. 29 |
| Take Advantage of Marriage Enrichment Classes and Resources | p. 30 |
| Learn from the Experience of Other Military Couples | p. 33 |
| Access Additional Relationship Resources at Reunion Time | p. 36 |
| Resources | p. 37 |
| Faith, Hope, and Gratitude: Essentials to Your Overall Happiness in Life | p. 39 |
| Daily Prayer, Weekly Service, Bible Study, and Reading Inspirational Devotionals | p. 41 |
| Journaling | p. 41 |
| Daily Meditation and/or Yoga or Tai Chi | p. 43 |
| "Legs Up the Wall" | p. 43 |
| Cultivate Quiet Time: Find Time for Self-Reflection in Simple Activities | p. 44 |
| Time in Nature | p. 45 |
| Deep Conversations with Friends | p. 45 |
| The Importance of Gratitude-And the Lesson of the Rainbow Glasses | p. 45 |
| Resources | p. 49 |
| Simple Joys...and Energy for Life!: How to Have the Energy to Go for Your Dreams | p. 51 |
| One Simple Exercise-For Joy and Energy | p. 51 |
| Learn to Live Strategically | p. 59 |
| Learn to Say No | p. 59 |
| Know That You Have a Choice | p. 60 |
| Breathe | p. 61 |
| Take One Day at a Time | p. 62 |
| Think Movement, Not Exercise | p. 63 |
| Dump Your Time and Energy Drains | p. 64 |
| Choose Foods and Beverages for Energy | p. 66 |
| Turn Interests into Energy! | p. 66 |
| Resources | p. 67 |
| Figure Out Who You Are and What You Want: Exercises to Help You Figure Out Your Priorities, Strengths, and a Vision for Your Life | p. 69 |
| Know What You Want-And Why This Matters | p. 69 |
| Develop Whole-istic Dreams | p. 70 |
| Start with the Ideal Life Exercise | p. 72 |
| Get Input from Your Friends and Family | p. 75 |
| Forget the "Shoulds" and Comparisons | p. 76 |
| Adopt the "As Is" Philosophy | p. 78 |
| Celebrate Your Strengths | p. 80 |
| Identify Your Strengths So You Can Celebrate Them | p. 82 |
| Choose Your Battles-Or Choose Your Weakness | p. 82 |
| Create Your Life List: 101 Things I want to Do, Be, Have in My Life | p. 84 |
| Start Your Heart's Desires File | p. 86 |
| Identify a Passion to Help Others | p. 86 |
| Action Steps | p. 86 |
| Resources | p. 87 |
| How Can I Pursue a Career While I'm Married to the Military?: Finding Meaningful Work as You Move | p. 89 |
| Be Aware of the Realities | p. 89 |
| First, Know What You Want | p. 92 |
| Complete the Assessment/Interest Inventories and Pay Attention to Them | p. 93 |
| Invest Time in Information Interviews | p. 94 |
| Join and Stay Active in Your Professional Association | p. 95 |
| Get Your Professional Certification | p. 96 |
| Look for Mentors, Negotiate Career-Building Opportunities, and Be Proactive on Cross Training | p. 96 |
| Start Early in Your Job Search and Be Persistent | p. 97 |
| Be Willing to Take a Pay Cut for New Experience | p. 98 |
| Be Prepared to Make Changes in the Kind of Work You Do | p. 99 |
| Learn to Sell What You Bring to an Employer | p. 99 |
| Build Networking Skills to Make and Keep Great Connections | p. 101 |
| Can't the Services Help Us with This? | p. 101 |
| What if No Job is Available in Your Career Field with This Move? | p. 103 |
| Resources | p. 105 |
| Wouldn't It Be Easier to Have My Own Business?: Moving a Business as You Move | p. 107 |
| The Realistic News | p. 107 |
| Can You Make Money Right Away? | p. 108 |
| Where Will You Get Your Customers or Clients? | p. 109 |
| Are You Ready to Do It All? | p. 109 |
| Do You Have What It Takes, or, Are You Cut Out for Entrepreneurship? | p. 109 |
| How Will This Affect Your Family? | p. 110 |
| Some Good News and Success Stories | p. 110 |
| The Virtual Advantage | p. 111 |
| Virtual Businesses Today Can Cover a Wide Range of Specialties | p. 112 |
| Businesses That Develop by Chance and Serendipity-And Because of-Military Life | p. 113 |
| The Bottom Line | p. 114 |
| Resources | p. 116 |
| Resources for Virtual Assistants | p. 116 |
| Military Spouse Business Mentioned Here | p. 117 |
| To Volunteer or Not to Volunteer: Volunteering Your Time Has Benefits and Challenges | p. 119 |
| Volunteering Connects You to the Military Community | p. 119 |
| Volunteering Increases Your Energy and Happiness | p. 123 |
| Volunteering Develops Skills | p. 125 |
| Be Aware! Volunteering Can Also Cause Problems | p. 127 |
| Action Steps | p. 128 |
| What Skill Do You Want to Use or Learn? | p. 129 |
| Try These Effective and Fun Goal Achieving Techniques: How to Move Toward Your Goals Even as You Move with the Military | p. 131 |
| Choose a Primary Focus for Each Stage of Life | p. 131 |
| Apply the Basics of Effective Goal Setting and Achieving | p. 133 |
| Determine the Outcome of Your Outcomes | p. 134 |
| Brainstorm Second and Third Right Answers | p. 135 |
| Develop a Plan of Action and Get Moving | p. 138 |
| Open Yourself Up to Serendipity | p. 139 |
| Set Short-Term and Long-Term Goals, Big and Small | p. 141 |
| Create a Visual Treasure Map of Your Dreams | p. 141 |
| Get Your Spouse's Support | p. 144 |
| Financing Your Dream | p. 144 |
| Reap the Rewards of Risk Taking | p. 145 |
| Know That Failure Isn't Always Failure | p. 148 |
| Monitor Your Self-Talk-The Power of Words | p. 148 |
| Action Steps | p. 150 |
| Resources | p. 151 |
| Financial Resources | p. 151 |
| Get Help for Your Dreams: How to Effectively Ask for and Create the Support You Need | p. 153 |
| Teams Help You Get What You Want | p. 153 |
| Ask for What You Want | p. 157 |
| And Ask for Things That Affect All of Us | p. 159 |
| Action Steps | p. 160 |
| Resources | p. 160 |
| Ask for Help, Accept Help, Offer Help in Challenging Times: Acknowledge That Extra Help Is Necessary | p. 163 |
| Ask for-And Accept-Help When You Need It | p. 163 |
| Pay It Forward | p. 164 |
| Be Specific in Your Offers of Help | p. 165 |
| Access the Help That Is Available | p. 166 |
| Make Use of Military OneSource-One Incredible Resource | p. 166 |
| Get Professional Help When Necessary | p. 168 |
| Recognize the Signs of Depression | p. 170 |
| Resources | p. 171 |
| The Richness of Military Life: Look at the Benefits as Well as the Challenges of This Lifestyle | p. 173 |
| Cherish Patriotism, Pride, and Esprit de Corps | p. 174 |
| Get to Know Our Country | p. 174 |
| Seek Out Unique Opportunities, Compliments of Uncle Sam | p. 174 |
| Take the Opportunity to Reinvent Yourself | p. 176 |
| Discover New Interests | p. 177 |
| Open the World to Your Kids | p. 179 |
| Open Yourself to the World | p. 180 |
| Relish the Opportunity for Personal Growth | p. 181 |
| Action Steps | p. 181 |
| It's Time to Take Action for Your Life: Start Today to Craft a Life That Works for You | p. 183 |
| Resources | p. 184 |
| Books | p. 184 |
| Extended Learning Centers | p. 184 |
| Associations | p. 185 |
| Specific Resources for Militaiy Families | p. 185 |
| Nonfiction Books-Some Highlights | p. 185 |
| Fiction Books-A Sampling | p. 187 |
| Magazines, Newspapers, and Newsletters | p. 187 |
| Service Resources | p. 188 |
| Websites | p. 188 |
| Index | p. 191 |
| About the Authors | p. 197 |
| Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
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