Nine Essential Conversations before You Say I Do

In his popular book, 9 Essential Conversations before You Say I Do, author and pastor Gary Thomas, marriage and family therapist Dr. Steve Wilke and Rebecca Wilke, EdD help couples explore:

• What marriage means to each individual and whether this is a wise match
• How to engage in essential relational pursuits such as healthy conflict, sexual intimacy, and spiritual intimacy
• How to discuss in advance crucial aspects of marriage such as childrearing, finances, and marital roles
• Why asking hard questions now is better than asking them five years from now

 
With thoughtful questions that encourage couples to examine themselves and their relationships, 9 Essential Conversations before You Say I Do will help couples thrive not only in the early months of their marriage but also in the years to come.
 
Includes Guides and Questions.
 

Gary Thomas is writer-in-residence at Second Baptist Church in Houston, a frequent guest on Focus on the Family and FamilyLife Today radio, and a popular speaker around the world. His award-winning books have been translated into fifteen languages and have sold two million copies. Thomas and his wife have three children.

Steve D. Wilke, PhD, has been engaged in psychological ministries for over thirty years. Following his doctoral work in clinical psychology with a specialization in marriage and family, he founded the Family Counseling Center, where he serves as clinical director. He cofounded LEADon®, a leadership development firm that equips executives, leaders, and their teams with strategic leadership skill sets. Steve has been married to Rebecca for almost forty years. Together they have authored numerous books, but they feel their greatest legacy is their family, now comprised of adult children and grandchildren.

Rebecca Wilke, EdD has served as a teacher, professor, and leadership consultant working with children and adults in both public and private school settings.  She is a graduate of the University of Southern California, where she received her doctorate in educational leadership.  Rebecca is a cofounder of Sonkist Ministries, a faith-based ministry that supports individuals, couples, and families. She is a principal and cofounder of LEADon®.
 

Contents
Authors’ Note 7
For Pastors and Mentors 9
For Couples: How to Use This Conversation Guide 13
Session 1: Pre-engagement Punch List 19
Devotional 1: Six Signs He or She Isn’t Marriage Material 25
Session 2: The Doubt-Free Wedding Day 31
Devotional 2: Two Are Better Than One 40
Session 3: Your Covenant Marriage 43
Devotional 3: Divorce Divorce 52
Session 4: And the Two Shall Become One 57
Devotional 4: Moving Toward Each Other 64
Session 5: Building a Family 67
Devotional 5: Some Day 74
Session 6: Constructive Conflict 77
Devotional 6: Vacation Vanity 86
Session 7: Developing and Maintaining Sexual Intimacy 91
Devotional 7: The Power of a Pure Passion 100
Session 8: Money, Money, Money 105
Devotional 8: Finances 112
Session 9: Spiritual Intimacy 115
Devotional 9: Power Couples 120
Appendix A: The Marriage Mentor’s
Conversational Session Guide 123
Appendix B: Personal History Questionnaire 137
Notes 157