Bluffer's Guide to Law Instant Wit and Wisdom

Instantly acquire all the knowledge you need to pass as an expert in the world of law. Know the difference between civil and criminal lawyers, jurisprudence and judicial imprudence, tort and illegal coercion (which is usually very painful). Never again plead ignorance when asked which of the following wasn’t a trained lawyer: Fidel Castro, Gerard Butler, Fred MacAulay, Clive Anderson, Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and former Lord Chancellors Michael Gove, Chris Grayling and Liz Truss (answer: none of the last three). If in doubt, always fall back on the bold insistence that it isn’t necessary to know anything about law to hold the highest ranking legal office of state in the UK.

Bask in the admiration of your fellow legal experts as you pronounce confidently on the politics of litigation, and hold your own in any discussion about the taxonomy of legal precedent. And in moments of uncertainty always resort to the tried and tested rejoinder: "I’m a lawyer, therefore I know." Alternatively, try "I think our prospects of success are quite good."