The Art of Conversation Change Your Life with Confident Communication

Good conversation is at the heart of networking, meetings, interviews, negotiations and raising your profile. It can ease your way in work, enabling you to build alliances, create strong relationships with staff, bosses and clients, succeed at interviews, motivate and inspire.

But conversation is something most of us were never taught! We learn to speak as babies, but how conversation actually works is something most of us pick up only haphazardly, and many have yet to learn. Why is it some of us are stuck for words, but others blabber or can’t stop? What is it that some people have naturally which enables them to converse comfortably and easily, to engage people and build better relationships?

The Art of Conversation will show you step by step how to converse skillfully and enjoyably with other people, at home, at work, on the phone and in the street- even if you’re daunted now, discover the difference good conversation can make in every aspect of your life. Learn to:

-Overcome the most common block to good conversation- fear; find out how to break the silence and keep the conversation going

- Understand the different types of conversation and how they work- which topics and language are suitable for the occasion

- Learn simple methods for being heard and understood, including speaking clearly and audibly, listening well and using non-verbal communication

- Find out how to hold a conversation in tricky situations, including how to disagree, how to speak to those in authority and people you find difficult

Judy Apps is a qualified NLP trainer and professional certified coach with the International Coaching Federation. (ICF), coaching an average of 70 corporate clients a year, ranging from Sussex Police to EA Games. Judy has spent many years unravelling the secrets of how great leaders communicate and inspire, and now coaches people from all walks of life- from leaders of major international corporations to politicians, media people, coaches and all who want to communicate with more influence.
Judy is the author of three books: Voice of Influence- How To Get People to love to listen to you; Butterflies and Sweaty Palms- 25 Sure-Fire Way to Speak and Present with Confidence, and Voice and Speaking Skills for Dummies.

Preface vii

Acknowledgements ix

Introduction 1

Part 1: Introducing Conversation 9

1. The Dance of Conversation 11

2. Connecting is What Matters Most 21

3. Getting in the Right State 49

4. Getting a Conversation Going – The Basics 65

5. Listening 79

Part 2: The Power of Conversation 99

6. Influencing a Conversation 101

7. Different Kinds of Conversation 117

8. Expressing Yourself 155

Part 3: Sailing Through Tricky Waters 171

9. What to Do If You’re Stuck 173

10. Oiling the Wheels 179

11. Role Playing 183

12. Spotting the Games People Play 187

13. Enjoying Disagreement 197

14. Confrontation 201

Part 4: Creative Conversations 213

15. Changing the World One Conversation at a Time 215

About the Author 225

Image Credits 227

Index 229

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