To Bed or Not to Bed : What Men Want, What

Most men want sex, with their current partner or someone new. Women want sex too but are taught to hold back so as not to seem "easy." To Bed or Not to Bed shows men and women how to seduce a partner and use the differences between the sexes to create greater excitement.

Acknowledgments

ix

Introduction

1

(7)

Finding and Choosing the Right Bed and Partner

8

(26)

Hunting and Fishing

10

(2)

White-Knight Syndrome

12

(3)

The Eye of the Beholder

15

(2)

Some Rules of the Game

17

(1)

Turn-On: A Woman's Natural Talent

18

(2)

The Importance of Enthusiasm

20

(2)

Take Your Swings

22

(2)

Confidence and Risk-Taking

24

(4)

Choosing the Right Partner

28

(6)

Pillow Talk Plus: Tips on Communication

34

(22)

Noticing and Paying Attention

36

(1)

What to Say

37

(2)

Listening to (and Interpreting) Womanese

39

(2)

Admit when It Hurts

41

(1)

What Not to Say

42

(2)

Lack of Communication

44

(2)

Appetite and Production

46

(2)

Seduction

48

(8)

Who Makes the Bed? Roles and Responsibilities in a Relationship

56

(37)

Nonreciprocity, or Don't Keep Score

57

(2)

Happiness

59

(1)

Recognizing Life's Perfection

60

(1)

Being Out of Agreement with Life Equals Insanity

61

(1)

Women Are More Comfortable with Grief

61

(3)

First, Love Thyself

64

(1)

Taking Each Other's Side

65

(1)

Dealing with Conflicts and Differences of Opinion

66

(6)

Who Does Make the Bed?

72

(2)

Managing the Emotional Climate of the Relationship

74

(2)

Money Matters

76

(2)

A Menu of Choices

78

(2)

Getting Married

80

(2)

Babies and Children

82

(1)

When Your Partner Is Sick

82

(1)

Flirtations and Affairs

83

(3)

Sexual Satisfaction

86

(2)

The Importance of the Clitoris

88

(5)

Getting Ready For Bed: Overcoming Resistance to Pleasure

93

(21)

The ``In-and-Out'' Fallacy, or Why Many Women Resist Sex

94

(2)

Teach Your Children Well

96

(1)

Issues from the Past

97

(2)

The Problem with Anger

99

(3)

Anger or Orgasm?

102

(2)

The Pursuit of Pleasure

104

(2)

Overcoming Resistances

106

(2)

Monkey See, Monkey Do

108

(1)

Drugs

109

(5)

Going to Bed: Sensuality and Integrity For Sexual Pleasure

114

(25)

Be Here Now

116

(1)

Starting from Flat

117

(1)

Deliberate Pleasure

118

(2)

Doing It in Exotic Locations

120

(1)

Integrity

121

(2)

Now that You're in Bed, What Next?

123

(2)

Orgasm Redefined

125

(6)

Fantasy

131

(8)

Her Side of the Bed: News For Women on Achieving (and Giving) Pleasure

139

(22)

The Choice of Pleasure

140

(2)

Trust Your Clitoris

142

(2)

Bear Training

144

(2)

Dogs Versus Bears

146

(2)

Reading a Man

148

(2)

Getting What You Want

150

(2)

Follow Your Pleasure

152

(2)

To Bed?

154

(1)

Genital Hygiene

155

(1)

Penis Size

155

(6)

His Side of the Bed: News For Men on Giving (and Achieving) Pleasure

161

(26)

Penis Politics

162

(3)

Express Your Pleasure

165

(1)

Penisometer

166

(1)

Become a Clitoral Expert

167

(6)

EMO for Men

173

(1)

How to Touch a Virgin

174

(1)

Cunnilingus

175

(2)

Blind-Spot Castration

177

(2)

Insatiable Women

179

(1)

Masturbation

179

(1)

Getting to Be a Hero and Other Benefits

180

(2)

Romance

182

(1)

Not to Bed?

183

(4)

Under the Covers: All You Both Need to Know For Great Sex

187

(26)

Men's Resistance in Bed

188

(1)

How to Avoid Making Your Partner Gag

189

(2)

Choosing to Be a Pleasure Victim

191

(2)

Know What You Are Doing

193

(1)

Trust Your Feelings

194

(2)

Enjoy What You Are Doing

196

(1)

Be Playful and Curious

197

(2)

Attention

199

(2)

Intention

201

(1)

Two-Way Pleasure

202

(2)

Slooowww Down

204

(1)

How to Touch an Oversensitive Clitoris

205

(8)

Good Night and Sweet Dreams

213

(6)

Bibliography

219

(2)

Index

221

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To Bed or Not to Bed : What Men Want, What Women Want, How Great Sex Happens

Summary

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials