Choose Compassion Why it matters and how it works

When you think of compassion, what comes to mind? Kindness, understanding, tenderness, empathy, maybe warmth? Compassion can be all those things – but it is much more. Drawing on his many years of experience as a clinical psychologist and researcher, Dr James Kirby brings together hard science and real-life examples to offer a guide to a more compassionate life and society. Kirby debunks the myth that compassion is simply a feeling and shows us how it is a motivational force that can shape our behaviour and relationships with each other and the world. He considers how it might help with self-criticism, parenting and grief, and he explores what part artificial intelligence might play in a compassionate future. In this engaging and timely book, Kirby traverses philosophy, psychology and pop culture to show how we can choose compassion to make our lives healthier, happier and more meaningful.

Prologue 1 1 What is compassion? 7 2 The things that move us 27 3 Thinking our way to compassion 41 4 Compassion in the family 53 5 Fears of compassion 75 6 Training compassion 89 7 The difficulties of self-compassion 107 8 The anatomy of suffering 135 9 When compassion collapses 155 10 Compassionate contradictions 171 11 Compassion around the world 185 12 The future of compassion 199 Epilogue 215 Acknowledgements 221 Notes 225