Coming Out, Coming Home

The discovery that a child is lesbian or gay can send shockwaves throughout a family. A mother will question how she's raised her son; a father will worry that his daughter will experience discrimination. From the child's perspective, gay and lesbian youth fear their families will reject them, and they will lose financial and emotional support. All in all, learning a child is gay challenges long-held views about sexuality and relationships, and the resulting uncertainty can produce-for all parties-feelings of anger, resentment, and concern for safety and acceptance.Through a qualitative, multicultural study of sixty-five gay and lesbian children and their parents, Michael LaSala, a leading expert on this issue, outlines effective, practice-tested interventions for families in transition. His research reveals surprising outcomes, such as learning that a child is homosexual can improve familial relationships, even if a parent reacts strongly or negatively to the revelation. By confronting feelings of depression, anxiety, and grief head on, LaSala formulates the best approach for practitioners who wish to reestablish intimacy between family members and preserve family connections, including individual autonomy, well into a child's maturation. By restricting his study to parents and children of the same family, LaSala accurately captures the reciprocal effects of supervised interactions and treatments. Coming Out, Coming Homeis also a valuable text for families, enabling adjustment through relatable scenarios and analyses.

Michael C. Lasala, Ph.D. is director of the Master's of Social Work Program and associate professor at Rutgers University. In practice for more than twenty-five years, he treats LGBT families and individuals at the Institute for Personal Growth in Highland Park, New Jersey.