Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice

After 25 years of research and clinical practice, the authors of this workbook reveal an ages-old truth: namely that the sworn enemy of mental health is one's own silent voice! The book includes dozens of exercises, questionnaires, self-assessments, and journaling activities.

Acknowledgments

ix

Foreword

xi

Introduction

1

(8)

Organization of This Book

A Note to Therapists

Part I Understanding Your Critical Inner Voice

Becoming Familiar with Your Critical Inner voice

9

(24)

How Your Critical Inner Voice Controls Your Actions

Being for Yourself or against Yourself

How Did You Develop a Critical Inner Voice?

Your Defenses

The Real You and Your Critical Inner Voice

How the Critical Inner Voice Disrupts Your Everyday Life

Challenging the Critical Inner Voice by Taking Action

How Your Critical Inner Voice Creates Shame, Guilt, and Low Self Esteem

33

(24)

Identify When You Are Feeling Shame or Guilt

The Defenses on Which Guilt, Shame, and Low Self-Esteem Are Based

Critical Inner Voices Underlying Neurotic Guilt

Critical Inner Voices Underlying Existential Guilt

Combating Guilt, Shame, and Low Self-Esteem

Part II Challenging The Critical Inner Voice

How the Critical Inner Voice Interferes with Your Career

57

(18)

How Your Defenses Limit You in Your Career

Identify and Overcome Voices That Interfere with Your Creativity

How the Critical Inner voice Influences Your Relationship

75

(22)

How the Critical Inner Voice Interferes with Intimacy

How the Fantasy Bond Works in Relationships

How the Critical Inner Voice and the Fantasy Bond Work Together to Destroy Relationships

Signs of a Fantasy Bond in Your Relationship

Playing the Parent/Playing the Child

How We Defend Ourselves against Love

Three Defenses

Suggestions for Disrupting the Fantasy Bond

How the Critical Inner Voice Intrudes on Your Sexual Relationship

97

(20)

Two Views of Sex

How Our Attitudes Toward Sex Are Influenced by Parents, Peers, and Society

Attitudes toward Our Bodies

Attitudes about Masturbation and Sex Play

Society's Attitudes about Sexuality

Voices During Sex

How Do You Relate Sexuality? Two Kinds of Sex

How the Critical Inner voice Seduces You into Addictive Behaviors

117

(18)

How Addictive Behaviors Affect You

How Do We Come to Develop Addictions?

How the Critical Inner Voice Encourages Addictive Behaviors

Eating Disorders, Drug Abuse, and Alcoholism

How Compulsive Activities Can Become Addictive

Guidelines for Challenging Addictive Behaviors

How Listening to Your Critical Inner voice Can Make You Feel Down and Depressed

135

(28)

Have You Ever Been Depressed?

How Do You Usually React to Negative Events in Your Life?

What Does It Feel Like to Be Depressed?

The Continuum of Self-Destructive Behaviors and Critical Inner Voices

Combating Critical Inner Voices That Lead to Depression

Steps for Challenging Depression

How to Select a Therapist

163

(8)

Factors to Consider in Making Your Choice

Personal Qualities of the Therapist That Are Conducive to Good Therapy

The Therapeutic Relationship

Part III Guidelines for Living the ``Good Life''

For Parents: Guidelines for Optimal Child Development

171

(16)

Repeating Chir Parents' Behaviors

Guilt about Not Always Feeling Love

Guidelines for Child Rearing

Living Free of Imagined Limitations-The ``Good Life''

187

(14)

What Does ``Living the Good Life'' Meant to You?

Guidelines for Continued Personal Development

Guidelines for Continued Personal Development in Your Relationship

Guidelines for Further Developing a Meaningful Life

Bibliography Glendon Association Video Productions

201

(6)

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Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice

Summary

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials