On Death, Dying, and Disbelief

Everyone grieves in their own way and according to their own timeframe, the accepted wisdom tells us. But those in mourning rarely find comfort in knowing this. Further, those attempting to support someone in mourning can do little with this advice, leaving them with a sense of helplessness. As a mental health professional and someone who has dealt with her own share of personal grief, Candace R. M. Gorham understands well the quest for relief. The truth of the matter, she says, is there is no one way to grieve, but there are things that are important to pay attention to while mourning. While much of the advice she shares is universal, she pays particular attention to the struggle those who do not believe in a god or afterlife face with the loss of a loved one—and offers practical, life-affirming steps for them to remember and heal.

Candace R. M. Gorham, LCMHCS, is a licensed professional counselor. She is the author of The Ebony Exodus Project and is on the advisory council of the Black Humanist Alliance of the American Humanist Association. She lives in Durham, North Carolina.