Disarming the Narcissist

What can you do with the narcissistic people in your life? They're frustrating (and maybe even intimidating) to deal with. But sometimes you genuinely care for one of them. And you might need to interact with others in social or professional settings. Sometimes it doesn't won't work to simply ignore them. You need to find a way of communicating effectively with narcissists, getting your point across and meeting your needs while sidestepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments. This book offers several strategies for dealing effectively with someone who is at the centre of his or her own universe. Readers will learn how to move past the narcissist's defences with compassionate, empathetic communication. They'll learn to understand the worldview and coping styles of narcissists and why it's often sad and lonely to be a narcissist. By anticipating and avoiding certain hot-button issues, readers will discover ways to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, readers will find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. Also covered are strategies for limit setting and for knowing when to draw the line on unacceptable behaviour.

Wendy T. Behary, LCSW, is founder and clinical director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and a faculty member at the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York