Emotional Intelligence in Action Training and Coaching Activities for Leaders, Managers, and Teams

Acknowledgments xix

Introduction: Getting the Most from This Resource 1

PART ONE Using Emotional Intelligence to Create Real Change 7

CHAPTER 1 The Case for Emotional Intelligence 9

CHAPTER 2 How Everyone Can Use the Exercises: Cross-Reference Matrix 17

PART TWO Exploring Emotional Intelligence and Well-Being Skills 35

1 Self-Regard 37

2 Self-Actualization 41

3 Emotional Self-Awareness 47

4 Emotional Expression 53

5 Assertiveness 57

6 Independence 63

7 Interpersonal Relationships 67

8 Empathy 71

9 Social Responsibility 77

10 Problem Solving 83

11 Reality Testing 87

12 Impulse Control 91

13 Flexibility 95

14 Stress Tolerance 101

15 Optimism 107

16 Happiness/Well-Being 113

PART THREE Emotional Intelligence Exercises to Build Effective Skills 117

1 Self-Regard

EXERCISE 1.1 Lighten Up with Self-Compassion 121

EXERCISE 1.2 Of Thine Own Self Be Aware 125

EXERCISE 1.3 Reconciliation 129

EXERCISE 1.4 Toot Your Horn and Scratch Your Back 135

2 Self-Actualization

EXERCISE 2.1 Leverage Your Time with a 2% Solution 139

EXERCISE 2.2 The Scavenger Hunt 145

EXERCISE 2.3 Becoming All That You Can Be 155

EXERCISE 2.4 Applying Inspiration 163

3 Emotional Self-Awareness

EXERCISE 3.1 Expanding Your Uncommon Awareness 171

EXERCISE 3.2 Are You in Touch? 175

EXERCISE 3.3 It Just Bubbles Up 181

EXERCISE 3.4 Moving Toward and

Moving Away 187

4 Emotional Expression

EXERCISE 4.1 Expressing Resistance 195

EXERCISE 4.2 Say It Nonverbally! 199

EXERCISE 4.3 Tell a Story 203

EXERCISE 4.4 Expressing Emotions in Social Media 207

5 Assertiveness

EXERCISE 5.1 Developing Appropriate Assertiveness Within Your Team 211

EXERCISE 5.2 Ramp It Up 217

EXERCISE 5.3 Dial It Back 223

EXERCISE 5.4 Getting Your Point Across 227

6 Independence

EXERCISE 6.1 Virtual Decision Making 231

EXERCISE 6.2 Cut the Apron Strings 237

EXERCISE 6.3 Solitary Effort 241

EXERCISE 6.4 Going Along with the Group—Or Not 245

7 Interpersonal Relationships

EXERCISE 7.1 Investment in Friends 249

EXERCISE 7.2 You've Got Good News 253

EXERCISE 7.3 Making New Friends 259

EXERCISE 7.4 Fun and Meaningful Relationships 265

8 Empathy

EXERCISE 8.1 Recipe for Infl uence: Curiosity and Compassion 269

EXERCISE 8.2 Connect Feeling with Meaning 273

EXERCISE 8.3 Mixed Emotions 277

EXERCISE 8.4 Do as the Empathic Do 285

9 Social Responsibility

EXERCISE 9.1 Focus on Something Bigger Than Yourself 289

EXERCISE 9.2 Refl ect the Best 293

EXERCISE 9.3 Who Do I Work for? 299

EXERCISE 9.4 The Value of Volunteering 305

10 Problem Solving

EXERCISE 10.1 When Problems Become Confl icts 309

EXERCISE 10.2 Emotions Affect Decision Making 317

EXERCISE 10.3 Using the MasterSolve Modelfor Teams 323

EXERCISE 10.4 Win-Win Negotiating 331

EXERCISE 10.5 Let's Cover Our Bases 335

11 Reality Testing

EXERCISE 11.1 Political Savvy 341

EXERCISE 11.2 Feel, Hear, See—Is It Reality? 345

EXERCISE 11.3 Visit Their Reality 349

EXERCISE 11.4 Using All Three of Your Minds 355

12 Impulse Control

EXERCISE 12.1 Putting on the Brakes 361

EXERCISE 12.2 To Impulse or Not to Impulse 365

EXERCISE 12.3 The Urge to Splurge 377

EXERCISE 12.4 Hot Buttons 383

13 Flexibility

EXERCISE 13.1 The Highly Flexible Team 387

EXERCISE 13.2 No More Shutdowns 391

EXERCISE 13.3 Yes, No, Maybe So 397

EXERCISE 13.4 Flex Time 401

14 Stress Tolerance

EXERCISE 14.1 The EZ Stress Buster 405

EXERCISE 14.2 'Cause You've Got Personality 411

EXERCISE 14.3 Water Off a Duck’s Back 421

EXERCISE 14.4 Deep Center Breathing 425

15 Optimism

EXERCISE 15.1 Optimistic Self-Talk and Behavior 431

EXERCISE 15.2 Be Solution-Focused 437

EXERCISE 15.3 See a Positive Resolution 441

EXERCISE 15.4 The Optimistic Explanation 445

16 Happiness/Well-Being

EXERCISE 16.1 Beyond Personal Silos 453

EXERCISE 16.2 Growing My Happiness 459

EXERCISE 16.3 Pay It Forward with Gratitude 463

EXERCISE 16.4 Attitude of Gratitude 467

Resources 471

References 473

About the Authors 477

Index 479

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