The Esl Dating Diaries

This twisted but funny collection of broken English love letters started in November of 2006. I was on a dating website & I got an email from a woman whose broken English was just so bad it made me think, "what if I wrote her back in broken English?" I started reading these at open mic night at my school, as well as posting them for my friends to read. I never intended it to reach outside of my hometown of Colorado Springs, but I wound up with over 7000 readers over the course of 2 years, including my biggest fan, in England! I was just aiming locally, not overseas! However, since i've made so many people laugh, I figured, why not try to make it into one big collection & sell it as a book?So now, i've learned how to re-interpret the English language, by replacing key words with words that are similar in meaning, only they are screwed up enough to create a smirking WTF? kind of reaction. You'll understand what i mean when you see the part where I talk about a co-worker that needed to "gather his feces". I tried to keep it clean for the most part, i'd say 98% of it is, but I think the influence from Family Guy, South Park, Henry Rollins & Pearls Before Swine definitely shows!