Forever, Erma : Best-Loved Writing from America's Favorite Humorist

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ISBN: 9781567313659 | 1567313655
Cover: Hardcover
Copyright: 5/1/2000

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Readers around the world loved Erma Bombeck and cherished every one of her columns. "Forever, Erma", a collection of columns dating from her first in January 1965 to her last in April 1996, also includes a tribute chapter with remembrances from some of Erma's family, friends and colleagues, and will give fans a classic way to hold on to this most gifted writer.

Foreword

Hello, Young Mothers

Paint Tint Caper---September 4, 1965

(1)

Birds, Bees and Guppies---January 6, 1966

(1)

Good Neighbor Policy---May 16, 1966

(2)

Waking Up Momma---July 4, 1966

(1)

When Last Child Goes to School---September 5, 1966

(1)

Surviving Motherhood---September 1966

(1)

Costume for the School Play---May 29, 1968

(1)

Outgrowing Naps---August 14, 1968

(2)

A Mother's Eye---August 18, 1968

(1)

No More Oatmeal Kisses---January 29, 1969

(1)

Confirmed Shouter---March 5, 1969

(1)

Youngest Child Tries to Tell a Joke---May 23, 1969

(1)

``Are We Rich?''---June 3, 1971

(1)

When God Created Mothers---May 12, 1974

(2)

Motherhood---Love and Laughter---September 1974

(1)

How to Communicate with Toddlers---December 1974

(1)

The Twelve Days of School---September 1975

(1)

``Things My Mother Taught Me'' Assignment---September 28, 1975

(1)

A Baby's Bill of Rights---November 13, 1975

(1)

Happiness and Motherhood---April 24, 1980

(1)

Disposable Diapers---February 8, 1990

(2)

Spit---March 18, 1990

(2)

All My Children

Children Cornering the Coin Market---January 5, 1965

(2)

My Son, the President---October 30, 1965

(1)

``I Don't Want to Go to Grandma's''---May 1966

(1)

Going Deaf from Rock `n' Roll---January 23, 1967

(2)

Daughter Learning to Drive---July 18, 1969

(1)

Phone Messages---October 22, 1969

(1)

Working Mom's Telephone Crisis---May 28, 1971

(2)

I've Always Loved You Best---July 20, 1971

(1)

Mike and the Grass---May 1973

(1)

Live-in Neighbor Child---September 30, 1973

(1)

Kids: Life's Greatest Mysteries---July 29, 1975

(1)

I Loved You Enough to...---January 6, 1976

(1)

Parents Get Apartment---June 6, 1976

(1)

Children Are Like Kites---May 15, 1977

(2)

Summertime Blues---August 3, 1978

(1)

Local or Toll Call Girlfriend?---February 1, 1979

(1)

Marching to a Different Drummer---November 3, 1979

(1)

Parenthood Is Worth the Risks---September 2, 1980

(1)

Favorite Child---May 10, 1981

(1)

The First Day of School---September 3, 1981

(1)

Third Child---November 5, 1981

(1)

Mother-Son Dialogue---January 13, 1987

(2)

Different Mother for Each Child---June 26, 1990

(1)

Housewife's Lament

Soap Operas---June 1, 1965

(1)

Lost Identity---September 18, 1965

(2)

When the Memory Starts to Go---June 9, 1967

(1)

Subversive Window Washer---September 29, 1967

(1)

Sewing-Basket Blues---November 21, 1969

(2)

Ironing---June 10, 1971

(1)

The Mother Who Drives---June 11, 1972

(1)

Making Paycheck Stretch---October 1972

(1)

A Housewife's Prayer---October 1974

(1)

Mom Last to Get Cold---October 16, 1975

(2)

``I Was 37 Years Old at the Time''---August 7, 1976

(1)

Dumpy Paper Dress---March 31, 1977

(1)

Handbags---October 25, 1977

(1)

Bizarre Accidents---November 29, 1981

(1)

Turning into Mother---June 1, 1989

(2)

Love and Marriage

Get Well for Mom---April 3, 1966

(1)

Cleaning Out the Attic---December 28, 1966

(2)

Interpreting the Checkbook---April 24, 1967

(1)

Men Have a Six-Word Limit---July 23, 1969

(1)

Car Hits a Tree---January 24, 1971

(1)

Daytime Husband, Nocturnal Wife---March 22, 1971

(2)

Keeping Track of Valuable Papers---June 1972

(1)

Husband Born Late---October 8, 1972

(1)

Husband Dreads Hammering Nails in the Wall---November 23, 1972

(1)

My Husband the Prince of Darkness---February 20, 1973

(1)

Husband Has Clothes for All Occasions---May 8, 1979

(2)

Jim Is Retired---May 19, 1985

(1)

My Social Life---November 3, 1985

(1)

Clippers---April 26, 1987

(1)

Car Heater---December 11, 1988

(1)

Husband Reads at Night---March 14, 1989

(2)

Husband Preempts His Christmas Gifts---December 10, 1992

(2)

Home Sweet Home

Household Hints---September 11, 1965

(1)

The Home Handyman---January 18, 1966

(2)

The American Clothesline---April 20, 1967

100

(1)

Getting Locked Out---July 8, 1968

101

(1)

No Pencil in the House---February 17, 1969

102

(2)

The Husband Who Prunes---September 15, 1969

104

(1)

Garage Sales---June 6, 1971

105

(1)

Relaxing with ``Country Gardens''---October 26, 1975

106

(1)

Working Wife/Maid Communication---September 28, 1982

107

(1)

VCR---January 24, 1985

108

(1)

``What Time Is It?''---November 2, 1986

109

(2)

Boston Fern---November 13, 1986

111

(1)

Repairmanese---March 3, 1988

112

(1)

Eyeglasses in Every Room---June 27, 1989

113

(1)

Weekends---March 15, 1990

114

(1)

Changing of the Closets---May 1, 1990

115

(2)

Swinging Was Respectable on Front Porch---September 22, 1994

117

(1)

Martha Stewart---September 27, 1995

118

(2)

Dear Old Dad

When God Created Fathers---June 17, 1973

120

(1)

Consolidating Cereal, Ice Cream, Cookies, etc.---December 8, 1974

121

(1)

Stepfather---January 6, 1980

122

(1)

Daddy Doll Under the Bed---June 21, 1981

123

(2)

Speak ``Thermostat''---December 19, 1982

125

(1)

New Generation of Fathers---June 21, 1987

126

(2)

Food for Thought

The Instead-of Cookbook---November 4, 1965

128

(1)

Weight Watchers Dilemma---April 27, 1972

129

(1)

Burning Calories---August 18, 1974

130

(2)

Dinner Is Ready---May 24, 1977

132

(1)

Dieting Is a Losing Battle---March 21, 1978

133

(1)

Seven Days to Make Garbage---May 3, 1981

134

(1)

Thawing Hamburger---March 9, 1982

135

(1)

Fruitcake---December 11, 1986

136

(2)

Doggie Bags---August 25, 1987

138

(1)

Spices---July 26, 1988

139

(1)

Older People Only Talk about Food---May 24, 1990

140

(1)

Leftovers That Refuse to Die---December 17, 1991

141

(2)

Leftover Halloween Candy---December 1, 1994

143

(1)

Tooth Traps---June 4, 1995

144

(2)

The Empty Nest

Daughter Returns to College---January 28, 1972

146

(1)

Picking Up the Tennis Ball---July 24, 1975

147

(1)

Empty Nest Overrated---October 1, 1978

148

(1)

Parents Covet Kids' Closets---August 9, 1979

149

(1)

``Not to Worry''---July 15, 1984

150

(2)

My Son's Answering Machine---June 22, 1986

152

(1)

Remembering Children's Names and Ages---June 14, 1987

153

(1)

Kids Show Up for Dinner---July 19, 1990

154

(1)

Parent---Child Bonding---January 13, 1991

155

(2)

When Grown Kids Come to Visit---December 20, 1995

157

(2)

Special People

Grandma and Funerals---November 20, 1968

159

(1)

Love Is a Grandparent---November 3, 1974

160

(1)

The Volunteer---June 24, 1975

161

(2)

Mother Earned Her Wrinkles---February 8, 1976

163

(1)

The Listener---February 26, 1977

164

(1)

Mothers of Disabled Children---May 11, 1980

165

(1)

Heroes---August 2, 1981

166

(1)

Caregivers---November 26, 1991

167

(1)

Mothers Who Have Lost a Child---May 14, 1995

168

(2)

Wish You Were Here (Instead of Me)

Help Thy Neighbor---August 25, 1968

170

(1)

Men Never Ask Directions---August 24, 1969

171

(1)

The Last Family Vacation---June 1972

172

(1)

Parking the Family Trailer---June 1972

173

(2)

Showing Slides of Vacation---February 26, 1974

175

(1)

Continental Breakfast---August 17, 1975

176

(1)

Elusive Rest Area---July 11, 1976

177

(1)

Seeing America by Headlights---September 16, 1980

178

(2)

Eleven-Piece Vacation Wardrobe---July 21, 1981

180

(1)

Traveling with Tripod---July 27, 1982

181

(1)

Alaska Cruise and Smoked Salmon---April 21, 1987

182

(2)

The Holidays

Children of Christmas---December 25, 1969

184

(1)

Kids Are Sick... It Must Be Christmas---December 18, 1970

185

(1)

Family Christmas Newsletter---December 9, 1971

186

(1)

Christmas Chimes---December 23, 1976

187

(2)

Son Home for the Holidays?---January 2, 1977

189

(1)

Halloween Challenges ``No Talent'' Mother---October 30, 1979

190

(1)

Grandfather's Solitude---December 25, 1979

191

(1)

No One Diets on Thanksgiving---November 26, 1981

192

(1)

``Love Is'' List for a Gusto Husband---February 14, 1982

193

(1)

Thanksgiving and Families---November 25, 1982

194

(1)

Memory Tree---December 22, 1983

195

(2)

Christmas Newsletter Winner---December 12, 1985

197

(1)

Undecorating the Christmas Tree---January 1, 1987

198

(1)

``Equal'' Christmas Gifts---December 22, 1994

199

(2)

The Gang's All Here

Entertaining---November 18, 1965

201

(1)

Mouse in the Pump Organ---January 13, 1971

202

(1)

My Husband Builds a Fire---December 1971

203

(2)

``Come Casual''---April 1975

205

(1)

Party Hostess Loneliest Person in the World---September 1975

206

(1)

College Reunion---November 3, 1977

207

(1)

Trip to the Rest Room---October 25, 1979

208

(1)

Pepper Mill Experience---December 18, 1983

209

(1)

Grandma's Grudges---May 1, 1984

210

(1)

Houseguests---August 6, 1985

211

(2)

Restaurant Conversation---October 20, 1985

213

(1)

Hors d'Oeuvres---December 5, 1985

214

(1)

Family Goodbyes---July 28, 1994

215

(2)

Planning Birthday Celebrations---November 8, 1994

217

(2)

Of Missing Socks, Promiscuous Hangers and Other Unexplained Phenomena

Socks Lost in Washer---May 28, 1969

219

(1)

Girdles---May 18, 1970

220

(2)

Creeping Underwear---December 1972

222

(1)

Socks Still Lost in Washer---April 1, 1973

223

(1)

Pantskirt in the Rest Room---September 1973

224

(1)

Coat Hangers---September 18, 1984

225

(1)

No Luck with Pantyhose---November 10, 1985

226

(2)

Crockpot Sock---March 20, 1990

228

(1)

The Restless Car---October 1, 1995

229

(2)

The Catchall Drawer

Talent---June 6, 1966

231

(1)

Even Charity Has Its Bounds---January 2, 1967

232

(1)

Time---November 17, 1971

233

(2)

Women Are Financial Giants---February 19, 1980

235

(1)

Junk Drawers---January 17, 1984

236

(1)

Box Savers---December 20, 1984

237

(1)

I'm-Not-Going Syndrome---October 28, 1986

238

(2)

Fashion Trends Pioneer---October 11, 1987

240

(1)

Shoulder Pads---December 1, 1988

241

(1)

Comfortable Shoes---September 14, 1989

242

(1)

Seize the Moment---June 25, 1991

243

(2)

Brain Capacity Is Limited---July 4, 1993

245

(1)

Let's Face It, Not All Ruts Need Repair---April 17, 1996

246

(2)

Tributes

248

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Forever, Erma : Best-Loved Writing from America's Favorite Humorist

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