From A Have Not, To A Have Got

There is nothing I am prouder of than the color of my skin. In the earlier years of my life, I thought it was a curse. As I got older, I learned that this is exactly how God made me. I learned to accept the hand I was dealt. In closing this book, I shared with you all of my pain, all of my feelings and emotions that I had built up for so long that I just couldn't express any other way but to share them through these lines and pages. I owe no one any apologies, and if I offended anyone, just speaking from my heart and from my pain, then you have some soul-searching to do yourself.
If so many of you have wondered about me, why do I often disappear and then reappear without any knowledge of where I have been? This book should answer all of those questions. I had a rough life, and instead of taking the Drug route or the guilt, or blaming someone else for my less fortune, I decided to put my head down and hit life head-on and 57 years later and counting, I am still standing and to be honest, I feel healthier and more at peace with myself. I have removed the negativity from my life and decided to make myself happy for a change.
You can accomplish anything that you want to in life. The only thing stopping you is you and the outside influence that you allow to infiltrate your mind and willpower. See those who doubt you or can't accomplish what you can plant seeds of negativity so you can continue to stay on their level. I know it is hard to leave these people because many of them you grew up with, many of them are your family members, and many of them may be people you see on a day-to-day basis. I am here to tell you right now: if what you are doing right here right now isn't what is truly in your heart, and you feel you can branch off on your own and make a better life for yourself, it is time to make a change.
The world needs individuals like yourself who go against the grain to challenge the status quo. You are the true pioneer who, through all odds, will make that difference. It could be inspiring just one person, or you could be a person that inspires a nation. You have it in yourself to improve the destiny of the future and many generations to come. As I, in my most humble way, try to inspire you through my words, I must look myself in the mirror and ask myself a question. Is God through with me? Am I doing God's will by reaching those who need his guidance and wisdom? I feel through this book, I am going to reach that one or several souls who need his love and motivation. I was 4 months into the book and almost decided not to finish this book. I began to get what many writers would call writer's block or the marathon in the middle syndrome. I was feeling sick for about two weeks without one day attempting to continue writing the final chapter and conclusion of this book. I needed a break to reflect on all the emotions I shared in this book to understand that I am at peace now with what I have shared with you all. This is only the beginning of my retirement journey and I promise you all I will continue writing because there is a part two to my life journey.
It has taken me half of a generation to find closure and happiness in my life. Sometimes, you must let go of some of the precious things you truly love to find your inner peace. For my father and mother abandoned me at the age of 6 years old, I forgive you. For the abuse that you put me through, Father, when I was a little kid, I forgive you now as I did when you called me in 2002 asking you for forgiveness. To my kids, Kiana and Dante, I love you both, and I made many sacrifices for the two of you. I truly hope that one day, our relationship will be as strong as the childhood memories I still hold on to. You both are true adults, but little do you know I have a room in my home with all your childhood memories till this day because those were and still are some of the most precious moments of my life.
To all my new friends I have gained an

Alvin L. Lewis is a US Naval Retired Veteran who served 25 years in the US Navy
Served 8 tours in Iraq as an Aviation Ordnance man Senior Chief
Serving from September, 27th 1978 to April, 7th 2012
For years, Alvin Lewis dreamed of writing an autobiography after his second retirement at the age of 57. He made it his primary goal after retiring from the US Navy in 2012. Twelve years later, his dream is finally complete for all to enjoy.
My heartfelt gratitude goes out to each and every one of you, my family and friends. It is your presence, your love, and your shared experiences that have made this journey possible. This book is as much yours as it is mine.

5,10, or even 20 years ago, I could never have imagined that I would be writing a book about my life. When I decided that this was one of my goals, I mistakenly thought this would be easy, not writing my first book but all the emotions from my past that I would awaken that have lain so dormant in my mind for so long. After my second and final retirement from the Boeing Company, I decided there was no time like the present to make my lifelong dream come true, writing my very first book.
But I have a confession to make, and I will be honest: this book will embrace you, often without any control of your own, make you laugh, or make you cry, which may fill you with so many emotions, which may be often to barrable to control at times. This book will allow you to see my life as I have lived it for the past 50-plus years. You will be awarded the opportunity to observe through the lens of my eyes and view my entire life from my childhood until the present.
As you read each page, allow yourself to imagine as if you were me, that shy, afraid, naive, curious little boy growing up having to direct his way through life without the proper guidance most of your adolescent kids were taught. As you begin reading, and I take your hand in mine, we will start to take that step-by-step journey together. I promise not to let your hand go so you can mentally and emotionally observe yourself developing that deep connection on each page as you turn. As you continue to read, you have become that close friend I never had growing up, and I promise I will not leave your side.
We will take baby steps as you get to know me and your new friend, page by page and chapter by chapter. As we continue walking hand in hand, I will introduce you to my family, the key individuals who played an intricate role in my survival. As you continue to stroll, step by step, you will view, through my eyes, the terrible pain I had to endure growing up as a young child, from being abandoned as a young kid, being bullied, and most of all, dealing with the daily microaggressions of racial trauma throughout my military career. These are some, but not all, of the discriminatory obstacles I had to find a way to navigate throughout my life. You will also be there to observe how I fought to overcome these inhuman treatments.
So, if you are still reading, you haven't let my hand go and are very interested in learning about my journey, struggles, and misfortunes, which I am so happy to share with you. Despite those tribulations, it was only fitting to title the book "FROM A HAVE NOT, TO A HAVE GOT."
Something you will observe about me while you continue reading this book: I will be blunt, straightforward, and unapologetic. I had to convince myself that to give you my true-life experiences, I must be genuine in my delivery. This book has allowed me to gain self-confidence and the happiness I once lost while trying to get by. If I had known, writing this book would have made me feel so wonderful about myself. I would have started writing this book many years ago. I now have peace in my life, where God has protected me through all odds, and now, he has blessed me with the ability to complete my lifelong dream, which I have been waiting so long to share with the rest of the world. So, I embrace you, my faithful fri