Lesbian Widows: Invisible Grief

The death of a life partner poses unique challenges for lesbians. Lesbian Widows: Invisible Grief reveals the touching and very personal stories of twenty-five women, including the author, who were widowed at a young age and forced to create a new life without their life partners. The widows discuss their efforts to create funerals and memorial services, give their accounts of the overwhelming grief throughout the first two years, and explain the legal and financial discrimination they encountered. The book provides an insightful look into the grieving and recovery process, offers practical advice about coping techniques, and ultimately inspires hope for anyone mourning their loss with the knowledge that others have survived this tragedy.

Preface	p. xi
Acknowledgments	p. xvii
Introduction	p. 1
The Decision to Write	p. 2
Book Participants	p. 3
Writing from Experience	p. 4
Lesbian Relationships	p. 5
Shock and Denial	p. 7
Ellen and Kate	p. 9
Janet and Chris	p. 10
Anita and Holly	p. 12
Cassie and Fran	p. 14
Shirley and Terry	p. 16
Which Is Worse?	p. 16
Terminal Illness and Disbelief	p. 19
Anna Marie and Caroline	p. 19
Vera and Nancy	p. 20
Joy and Barbara	p. 22
Traci and Dana	p. 24
Marilyn and Cheryl	p. 25
Samantha and Marie	p. 29
Long-Term Illness	p. 33
Heather and Ruth	p. 33
Dale and Carol	p. 35
Pam and Sandy	p. 37
Maureen and Robin	p. 40
Rose and Steph	p. 41
Nora and Anne	p. 44
Pat and Betty	p. 45
The Caretaker Role	p. 49
Donna and Randi	p. 50
A Change of Roles	p. 52
The Support of Friends	p. 53
Lois and Joan	p. 53
Beverly and Virginia	p. 56
Jane and Lynn	p. 57
Irene and MJ	p. 61
Linda and Tonya	p. 63
Examples of Support	p. 65
Examples of Isolation	p. 66
Parting Moments	p. 69
The Presence of Death	p. 69
A Spiritual Experience	p. 70
Saying Good-Bye	p. 72
Memories and Laughter	p. 73
A Sense of Intimacy	p. 74
The Relationship Not Recognized	p. 77
The Painful Reality	p. 77
Funerals and Memorial Services	p. 79
Feeling Invisible	p. 80
Hurt by Lesbians	p. 82
Open Support	p. 83
Religious and Nonreligious Services	p. 86
Rites of Passage	p. 90
Grief Work	p. 93
The Pain of Grief Work	p. 93
Health	p. 99
Feeling Her Presence	p. 100
Home	p. 102
Ways of Escape	p. 105
Coming Out	p. 108
Comfort and Support	p. 111
Friends	p. 111
Family Support	p. 117
Online Support	p. 120
Therapy	p. 121
Other Sources of Comfort	p. 123
Complications	p. 129
Legal Discrimination	p. 129
Support Groups	p. 132
Written Materials	p. 138
Disenfranchised Grief	p. 140
The First Two Years	p. 141
The First Year	p. 142
The Second Year	p. 148
Loving Again	p. 155
Problems Experienced	p. 156
Myths About Grief	p. 161
Still Single	p. 162
Grief over Time	p. 165
Grief in the First Two Years	p. 166
Around Three Years	p. 171
Four to Seven Years	p. 176
After Ten Years	p. 179
The Gift in the Grieving	p. 181
For Friends and Family	p. 189
Grief Takes Time	p. 189
Accept the Relationship	p. 190
Avoid Cliches	p. 190
What Does Not Help	p. 191
How Friends Can Help	p. 193
Get the Help You Need	p. 194
For Professionals	p. 195
Grief Models	p. 195
The Lesbian Community	p. 196
The Need for More Resources	p. 199
The Lesbian Widows	p. 201
Resources	p. 209
Bibliography	p. 211
Index	p. 213
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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Lesbian Widows: Invisible Grief

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Table of Contents

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Lesbian Widows: Invisible Grief

Summary

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials

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