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Mullets and Mayhem

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Acknowledgements	p. v
Preface	p. vii
The Noage	p. 1
Fake IDs	p. 6
Vices	p. 11
Big W's	p. 11
A Carrot	p. 15
Underage Mayhem	p. 17
Cut That Out	p. 17
Hand on the Gas	p. 23
I Don't Care if We Go to Jail	p. 26
Hotel Hell	p. 29
Party Weekend	p. 32
Augustino's	p. 38
Home Sweet Home	p. 41
If I Open My Eyes	p. 44
Fun on 14th Street	p. 48
If You're So Curious	p. 49
Look Over There	p. 53
Vic the Dick	p. 55
Cisco Kid	p. 58
151 Burn Herbie	p. 60
Oh Wow, Yum!	p. 63
Phil the Carpet Man	p. 67
Circle Up	p. 67
Spunk	p. 69
Phil Anecdotes	p. 72
Concerts	p. 75
Butt Grabbers	p. 75
Floor Seats	p. 78
I Could Pay You... So Much	p. 81
Watermelon Head	p. 83
Caught in a Mosh	p. 84
Practical Jokes	p. 86
Talking Toilet	p. 86
Three Way Calling	p. 89
Rubber Band Inventory	p. 92
Dating	p. 94
Getting My Feet Wet, As It Were	p. 94
Not Tonight	p. 100
Movies: The Devil's Creation	p. 103
Fraternity Life	p. 108
Curse of the Irish	p. 108
Crush Party	p. 112
Sinking of the Pirate Ship	p. 115
Crashing the Crush Party	p. 119
Sexual Thumper	p. 121
Go for the Plant	p. 125
Be Mine	p. 128
My Ineptitude	p. 131
Hot Wings	p. 134
Road Trips	p. 138
Spring Break--Part One	p. 138
Spring Break--Part Two	p. 141
An Ohio Tradition	p. 145
Odds and Ends	p. 147
Maximum Safe Consumption of Oysters	p. 147
Golden Seal Root	p. 150
You Broke My Vall	p. 153
Got My Back?	p. 156
Where Are They Now	p. 160
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