The Myth of the Silver Spoon Navigating Family Wealth and Creating an Impactful Life

The next generation within wealthy families are often said to be born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Perceived as free from life’s toughest challenges. “Having it all.” But being raised in affluence brings a unique set of pressures and hidden tripwires. Great wealth casts a long shadow. Inheritors commonly face intense familial expectations, public scrutiny and judgment, and confusing or debilitating self-narratives, under which many flounder. And we—as family, friends, and society—slowly lose their contribution to our lives and the common good.

The Myth of the Silver Spoon helps guide the next gen of the affluent, their families, and the ecosystem of professionals who influence them—wealth advisors, estate attorneys, tax attorneys, philanthropic advisors, family office professionals, and career coaches—to identify and confront negative thinking and behaviors related to wealth.

Through new research, meaningful storytelling, and actionable concepts, Kristin Keffeler—an expert advisor, consultant, and certified professional coach to high-net-worth families—helps readers clear the internal and external clutter from their paths that accumulates from growing up with wealth. She shows readers how to:

• Put words to their difficulties and dismantle the hidden tripwires of affluence
• Address challenges at their root, including when raising children of their own, instilling guardrails against entitlement and feelings of helplessness
• Identify structures for finding and sustaining one’s own vision of a fulfilling, impactful life

Privately held wealth has great potential to benefit society. But only if it is held by people able and willing to do good with it. Whether you’re a rising gen yourself or gifting this to a client, The Myth of Silver Spoon offers a compassionate discussion and a seven-step process for connecting a rising gen’s innate strengths to the embers of their hopes, so that they can move forward creating thriving and impactful lives.

KRISTIN KEFFELER draws on her life experiences as the daughter of wealth-creating parents and her years of research and private practice advising and coaching the rising generation in affluent and enterprising families. She believes that rising gen are uniquely positioned to create significant impact in the world and uses a lens of strengths to help them—and those who love and influence them—ignite their potential.

Foreword ix

Acknowledgements xiii

About the Author xvi

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 A Flickering Flame 11

Part I Confronting the Myth of the Silver Spoon 25

Chapter 2 Poor Little Rich Girl 27

Chapter 3 Money Versus Wealth 39

Chapter 4 Parenting Without the Worry of Making Ends Meet Should Be Easier . . . Why Isn’t It? 51

Part II Clearing the Clutter 65

Chapter 5 Money Clutter 67

Chapter 6 Identity Clutter 85

Chapter 7 Relationship Clutter 99

Chapter 8 Contribution Clutter 111

Part III The Big Logs for Your Fire: Human Thriving and Your Unique Spark 123

Chapter 9 The Science of Human Thriving 125

Chapter 10 Big Logs: Growth Mindset, Grit, Mastery-Orientation, Close Positive Relationships, and Your Foundational Character Strengths 133

Part IV Creating a Uniquely Impactful Life 155

Chapter 11 From Spark to Flame: Ideas That Ignite You and Impact Others 157

Chapter 12 The Missing Chapter in Your Parenting Book 173

Chapter 13 The Role of the Trusted Advisor 187

Conclusion: Beyond the Myth of the Silver Spoon 201

Appendix A: Resources to Support Rising Gen, Their Parents, and Their Advisors 205

Appendix B: In Their Own Words—Advice from the Rising Gen to the Rising Gen 207

Appendix C: Research Methodology 211

Notes 221

Index 235

The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

The Used, Rental and eBook copies of this book are not guaranteed to include any supplemental materials. Typically, only the book itself is included. This is true even if the title states it includes any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.