Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T

With his extensive negotiating experience and unique presentation style, Herb Cohen is internationally renowned as someone who can quickly grasp both sides of an issue and get the most for his client out of a difficult negotiation. His advice? Simple, says Herb, I carebut not that much! In NEGOTIATE THIS!buoyed by his signature humorous and self-deprecating styleHerb Cohen explains how readers can learn powerful yet subtle negotiating ploys to help them in their businesses, careers, and even family relationships. As Herb says, Negotiation is the game of life.

Acknowledgments

xiii

Chapter I. The Joy of Detached Involvement

1

(30)

1. A Gaming Mechanism

3

(8)

2. Voluntary Decision Making

11

(2)

3. An Other Worldly Undertaking

13

(3)

4. New Communication Approaches

16

(3)

5. Applying Conscious Inattention

19

(12)

Chapter II. Salvation by Negotiation

31

(36)

1. An Ageless Phenomenon

33

(3)

2. Familiarity Breeds Children

36

(2)

3. Getting Framed

38

(2)

4. Speed Kills

40

(1)

5. "Whandja Say?"

41

(2)

6. Lend Me a Hand

43

(2)

7. Attuned to the Music

45

(2)

8. Abracadabra

47

(2)

9. A Hollywood Exegesis

49

(3)

10. An Attention Grabber

52

(2)

11. Axioms from Above

54

(2)

12. Bargaining with a Bastard

56

(3)

13. The Road Less Traveled

59

(2)

14. Negotiating with the Almighty

61

(6)

Chapter III. Playing the Game

67

(32)

1. Style Supersedes Substance

69

(4)

2. The Way of the Gipper

73

(2)

3. An Outsider's View

75

(2)

4. Less Is More

77

(3)

5. All's Right with the World

80

(3)

6. Equality—Valued or Tainted?

83

(5)

7. The Optimum Style

88

(11)

Chapter IV. A Mixed-Motive Game

99

(26)

1. Labeling Is Disabling

101

(1)

2. Dial M for Money

102

(4)

3. It Ain't Necessarily So

106

(2)

4. When You're Up to Your Neck in Alligators, It's Easy to Forget That Your Original Objective Was to Drain the Swamp

108

(4)

5. Say Cheese

112

(3)

6. Believing Is Seeing

115

(1)

7. A Dynamic of Dual Desires

116

(2)

8. A Problem-Solving Process

118

(4)

9. Can't Anybody Here Play This Game

122

(3)

Chapter V. A Bargaining Formula

125

(40)

1. Setting Objectives

127

(2)

2. Making How Concessions

129

(2)

3. Open with Commonality

131

(3)

4. The Titanic Principle

134

(4)

5. The Ping-Pong Table Theory of Life

138

(4)

6. Broadening the Gauge

142

(2)

7. The Vail Condo

144

(6)

8. Make 'Em Work

150

(3)

9. You Owe Me an Apology

153

(4)

10. Closing the Deal

157

(8)

Chapter VI. The Perceptual TIP

165

(6)

1. Perception Is Reality

167

(2)

2. The Personal Pimple Principle

169

(2)

Chapter VII. Time and Timing

171

(30)

1. The Deadline Rule

175

(1)

2. Deadlines Precipitate Action

176

(11)

3. Inducing Concession Making

187

(2)

4. Deadlines Are Not Always Draconian

189

(1)

5. The Other Side Always Has a Deadline

190

(1)

6. Where Deadlines Are Not Equivalent

191

(1)

7. Where Deadlines Appear Identical

192

(1)

8. Patience Generally Pays

193

(2)

9. Remain Calm and Cool Under Fire

195

(6)

Chapter VIII. Information

201

(30)

1. Don't Wait for the Starter's Gun

203

(2)

2. Mapping Prior to the Formal Event

205

(2)

3. The Blessing of Giving

207

(4)

4. The Satisfaction Prescription

211

(2)

5. Expecting Little Diminishes Disappointment

213

(4)

6. Delusions About Dissatisfaction

217

(3)

7. Getting Information

220

(2)

8. Barriers to Obtaining Information

222

(4)

9. The Procuring Principles

226

(5)

Chapter IX. Power

231

(12)

1. Defining Power

235

(1)

2. Perceiving May Be Deceiving

236

(1)

3. Power—Neutral and Often Neglected

237

(3)

4. You Gotta Believe

240

(3)

Chapter X. Sources of Power

243

(58)

1. Competition—Options

245

(13)

2. Legitimacy

258

(7)

3. Risking

265

(3)

4. Commitment

268

(8)

5. Persuasive Capacity

276

(9)

6. A Gaming Attitude

285

(4)

7. Expertise

289

(1)

8. Knowledge of Needs

290

(1)

9. Investment

291

(1)

10. Rewarding or Punishing

292

(2)

11. Identification

294

(1)

12. Morality

295

(1)

13. Precedent

296

(1)

14. Persistence

297

(1)

15. A Concluding Point About Power

298

(3)

Chapter XI. Negotiating This...And That

301

(20)

1. Terrorism-A Negotiation by Violent Means

303

(4)

2. Raising Children

307

(14)

Chapter XII. The Game of Life

321

(12)

1. The Balance of Caring, but Not T-h-a-t Much

325

(2)

2. The Force Is Within You

327

(1)

3. Differentiate Yourself

328

(1)

4. Celebrate Each Day

329

(4)

Appendix 1. Carter Went Against All Logic in Ruling Out Hostage "Expert," by Jack Anderson

333

(3)

Appendix 2. The Mishandling of the Iranian Hostage Crisis

336

(13)

Appendix 3. The Reality of Adversarial Negotiations

349

(8)

Appendix 4. The Scourge of International Terrorism: Its Threat to America

357

(7)

Appendix 5. Terrorism and the Media

364

(6)

Bibliography

370

(5)

Index

375

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Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much

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