Nineteen to the Dozen : Monologues and Bits

The author of classic Yiddish novels and short stories, Sholem Aleichem -- best known for having inspired the popular play, Fiddler on the Roof, evokes the voices of Yiddish speakers in these monologues written between 1901 and 1916. In each piece, a man or a woman comes forward to tell the story. The implied listeners -- a rabbi, a doctor, or the author himself -- says virtually nothing. Aleichem pretends to have transcribed these private performances for the reader's benefit.

Introduction

ix

A Note on the Text

xiii

Women's Talk

The Pot (1901)

3

(51)

Geese (1902)

Monologue of a Woman Called Bassia Who Slaughters Geese on Chanukah and Fries Goose Fat and Cracklings (That's to Say, Schmaltz) for the Passover

17

(14)

The White Scape Hen (1904)

Monologue of a Woman of Breeding

31

(7)

Holiday Dainties (1904)

Monologue of a Vilna Housewife

38

(6)

Goody ``Purishkevich'' (1911)

Containing an Account of How a Widowed Jewish Lady Called Goody, Who Makes Her Living Selling Wissotzky Tea Door-to-door, Had, After Laboring Long and Hard, for a Full Three Years in the Third or ``Black'' Duma, Obtained at Last the Release of Her One and Only Son from Military Service, Causing Her Entire Local Council to be Brought to Book, Lock, Stock, and Barrel, and Receiving in Consequence the Unfortunate Moniker of ``Purishkevich'' from Her Own Townsmen. As Reported in One Go by Herself in Person

44

(10)

The Squire's h'Omelette: Lithuanian Dialogue (1904)

54

(5)

Men's Talk

Advice (1904)

59

(14)

At the Doctor's (1904)

73

(8)

Joseph: The ``Gent's'' Story (1905)

81

(22)

Chabne (1904)

103

(46)

Three Widows (1907)

A Cautionary Tale Told by a Bitter Old Bachelor

115

(34)

Talk about the Riviera (1909)

149

(26)

Mister Grinn Gotta Job (1915)

As Told by Himself and Here Set Down in His Own Words

154

(4)

A Business with a Greenhorn (1916)

How Mr. Tummler, a Business Broker, ``Loined'' a Greenhorn Who Got Merry Wid a Goil for Business. Retold Here in His Own Words

158

(7)

Glossary

Curious Terms and Abstruse Names Found in This Volume. Prepared on the Author's Behalf by His Editors. Adapted and Arranged by Ted Gorelick

165

(10)

Selected Bibliography

175

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Nineteen to the Dozen : Monologues and Bits and Bobs of Other Things

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