The Passion Trap

Renowned psychologist Dr. Dean Delis shows how to change the patterns that threaten romantic relationships. Formerly published as The Passion Paradox.

Acknowledgements

ix

Introduction

xiii

Part I The Painful Patterns that Create Unequal Love

Chapter 1 Falling in Love

The Pleasures and Perils of Passion

3

(14)

Chapter 2 Balancing Acts

Power Shifts in Relationships

17

(12)

Chapter 3 One-Ups

The Burden of Power

29

(17)

Chapter 4 The Commitment-Ambivalence Syndrome (CAS)

When the One-Up Is on the Fence

46

(20)

Chapter 5 One-Downs

Love Turns into Pain

66

(18)

Chapter 6 From Rock Bottom to Rebirth

The Renaissance of the One-Down

84

(23)

Part II How to Create an Equal Love That Lasts

Chapter 7 Letting Go of Old Solutions

107

(10)

Chapter 8 Communicating

How to Talk Balance Back into Your Relationship

117

(20)

Chapter 9 What One-Downs Can Do

Seven Equalizing Strategies

137

(20)

Chapter 10 What One-Ups Can Do

Seven Ways to Give Love a Chance

157

(18)

Chapter 11 Seeking the Roots of Imbalance

Situations, Sex Roles, Attraction Power

175

(19)

Chapter 12 The Balanced Self

An Introduction to Personality Styles

194

(7)

Chapter 13 The One-Down Personality

Learning to Value Yourself

201

(17)

Chapter 14 The One-Up Personality

Learning to Be Vulnerable

218

(17)

Chapter 15 When to Leave

235

(14)

Chapter 16 Embracing the Paradox of Passion in Love and Marriage

249

(16)

Bibliography

265

(2)

About the Authors

267

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Summary

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials