Reclaiming Your Life

The Gay Man's Guide to Love, Self Acceptance and,Trust,Required reading for all gay men and their loved,ones, this book will encourage gay men to abandon,self-destructive behaviour and move toward,investing their lives with self-acceptance, love,and trust in a supportive community.

Introduction Before You Begin This Book

XIII

Part I: Homophobia and Trauma

3

(108)

Growing Up Gay in a Homophobic Culture

3

(20)

Homophobia and Heterosexism

How Homophobia Becomes Internalized

Are Gay Men Really Different?

Establishing a Gay Identity

Phases in Self-acceptance

Relating These Ideas to Your Own Experience

Dysfunctional and Abusive Families

23

(16)

Origins of a Positive Self-image

Dysfunctional Families Defined

The Intergenerational Cycle

Types of Abuse

The Particular Abuse of Gay Boys

Relating These Ideas to Your Own Experience

Effects of Abuse on Gay Sexuality

39

(23)

Child Molestation and Homophobia

Age of Consent and Youthful Curiosity

A Definition of Sexual Abuse

Types of Sexual Abuse

Reactions to Sexual Abuse

Disclosing the Abuse

Effects on Intimate Relationships

Relating These Ideas to Your Own Experience

Posttraumatic Stress

62

(13)

Effects of Trauma

AIDS as a Source of Trauma

Internalized Homophobia as a Form of Post-traumatic Stress

Relating These Ideas to Your Own Experience

Self-blame and Shame

75

(12)

Guilt and Shame

Abuse and Self-blame

Homophobia and Shame

Religious Shame

Development of a False Self

Relating These Ideas to Your Own Experience

Origins of Self-destructive Behavior

87

(24)

The Cycle of Shame

Alcohol and Substance Abuse

Compulsive Behavior

Sexual Compulsion

Relapse into Unsafe Sex

Overwork and Overachieving

Food, Debt, and Other Compulsions

Self-deprivation

Codependency in Gay Relationships

Repetition Compulsion and Revictimization

Domestic Violence

Relating These Ideas to Your Own Experience

Part II: Reclaiming Your Life

111

(108)

Understanding the Process of Healing

111

(5)

Stages of Healing

Recovery From Addictions and Compulsions

116

(22)

Reluctance to Seek Help

The Strategic Use of Will

Support for Recovery

Phases in Recovery

Gaining Control Over Compulsive Behavior

Expanding the Moment Between Impulse and Action

The Higher Power and the Nurturing Self

Spirituality and the Search for Meaning

Relating These Ideas to Your Own Experience

Working Through Feelings

138

(20)

Why Deal With Any of This?

Gay Men and Feelings

How Feelings Work

Grieving for Your Lost Childhood

Gaining Access to Sadness

Feeling Overwhelmed

Depression

Mobilizing Anger for Positive Change

Pacing Yourself

Relating These Ideas to Your Own Experience

Awareness of Feelings Exercise

Self-nurturing

158

(21)

Distortions in Thinking

How Thoughts Influence Feelings

Feelings Versus Conclusions

Suicidal Impulses

Nurturing Your Own Child Self

The Cycle of Healing From Internalized Shame

Relating These Ideas to Your Own Experience

Seeking Support

179

(19)

Self-help

Friends and Lovers

Individual Psychotherapy

Group Therapy

What to Expect in Group Therapy

Relating These Ideas to Your Own Experience

Self-empowerment

198

(21)

Countering Codependency

Confrontation

The Issue of Forgiveness

Combating Homophobia

Creating Your Own Life

Appendixes

219

(12)

I. Effects of Childhood Abuse

II. Resources

Notes and References

231

(12)

Index

243

What is included with this book?

The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

The Used, Rental and eBook copies of this book are not guaranteed to include any supplemental materials. Typically, only the book itself is included. This is true even if the title states it includes any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

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Summary

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials

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Reclaiming Your Life

Summary

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials

Digital License