Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother

While books about adoption proliferate, none of them addresses the subject of open and interracial adoption like Jana Wolff's personal and frank account does in [i]Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother[/i]. Often irreverent, always insightful, surprisingly funny and stunningly honest, [i]Secret Thoughts[/i] tells it like it is: How it feels for a woman to look nothing like her child and to know the woman who does. This fiercely honest and funny book answers questions no one dares to ask: What if I don't like the child I get? Will she want the baby back? If this is the happiest day of my life, why am I so sad? Am I too white for a kid this black? Chapter titles include: "The Myth of Bliss," Friendly Racism," "Meeting Your Child's Mother," and "Adopted Poop Doesn't Smell Any Different."

Acknowledgments	p. 15
Prologue (B.C.: Before Child)	p. 17
To Produce or to Purchase? (Either way, it's gonna cost)	p. 21
Could We Love Somebody Else's Child? (What if we get a dud?)	p. 27
The Home Study: Mr. and Mrs. Perfect (Your house will never (and need never) be this clean again)	p. 31
Meeting Your Child's Mother (What do you wear, what do you say, and how do you look without staring?)	p. 39
Expecting Without Pregnancy (Buy the crib, but hang on to the receipt)	p. 45
Unspoken Preferences (What matters is what you get, not what you want)	p. 51
Excitement or Doom? (There's a thin line between being thrilled and being nauseated)	p. 57
Show Time (Labor and deliverance)	p. 63
If This Is the Happiest Day of My Life, Why Am I So Sad? (The myth of bliss)	p. 73
Why This Baby? (Of all the babies born tonight, how did you get us? Of all the people wanting a baby, how did we get you?)	p. 77
A Family of Strangers (Related, but not relatives)	p. 81
The Name Game (Should we name him after my family, your family, or her family?)	p. 83
Loving Before It's Legal (Parenting without permission)	p. 85
Saying Good-bye (Even the right decision can feel wrong)	p. 89
Coming Home (Everything old seems new; everything new seems foreign)	p. 95
Family Trees Without Roots (Hoping blood isn't thicker than water)	p. 101
Motherlove (Babies can make mommies drool)	p. 107
Spit-up Is Spit-up (Adopted poop doesn't smell any different)	p. 113
Can We Return This Child? (Feelings that top the taboos)	p. 115
Should We Send Cute or Ugly Pictures? (Will she want him back when she sees those dimples?)	p. 119
Is It Mother's Day or Mothers' Day? (No one's serving her breakfast in bed)	p. 123
Adoption: The Ultimate Birthmark (Well, that explains everything, or nothing at all)	p. 129
Being Black and Jewish (Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Chanukah)	p. 135
Friendly Racism (Are they staring, or am I paranoid?)	p. 141
Whites Raising Blacks (Good intentions, bad qualifications)	p. 149
Mother and Child Reunion (Is she going to kiss him or kidnap him?)	p. 153
Epilogue	p. 161
Author's Note	p. 165
Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved.

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Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother

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