The Social Styles Handbook

, by Wilson Learning Library; Wilson, Larry

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ISBN: 9789077256336 | 9077256334
Cover: Paperback
Copyright: 5/4/2011

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Summary

Why do you connect easily with some people and not with others? More than two million people use social styles and versatility skills to read and adapt to the natural behavior of others. Simple to learn and apply, social styles skills immediately improve communication and relationships at work and at home. Use them and you'll accomplish more with everyone. The secret is very simple: treat people the way they want to be treated. Learn your own social style, how to read others' styles, discover how to handle conflict with social styles in mind, and begin using versatility to ensure productive, long-term relationships. These proven, life-changing tools have produced measurable results for all people in all types of relationships, jobs and businesses worldwide. If you learn about social styles and practice versatility, you too will see immediate, positive results.

Foreword	p. 7
The Case for Communication	p. 9
Introduction	p. 9
Words Aren't the Key	p. 10
Social Styles, Versatility and Success	p. 12
Summary	p. 14
Mindset Matters	p. 15
A Warm-Up Exercise	p. 15
The Exercise	p. 15
The Point of the Exercise	p. 16
Essential Mindsets	p. 17
Look for the Signals and Respond Correctly	p. 17
Be Prepared to Act in Ways that Don't Feel Comfortable	p. 17
You Can't Change Your Own Style, But You Can Adapt Your Behavior	p. 19
Diversity is Enriching, But Requires Understanding	p. 19
Summary	p. 20
Dimensions of Social Styles	p. 21
A New View of Behavior	p. 21
Two Critical Assumptions	p. 22
Social Styles Focuses Only on Observable Behavior	p. 22
Perception is Reality	p. 22
Summary	p. 23
Assertiveness and Responsiveness - The Measures of Behavior	p. 24
Assertiveness and Responsiveness	p. 24
Assertiveness - The Measure of Influencing	p. 25
Responsiveness - The Measure of Expressing	p. 26
Assertiveness and Responsiveness - The Basis for the Social Styles Matrix	p. 28
Summary	p. 31
Versatility - Adapting Your Style	p. 33
Versatility in Action	p. 34
Comfort Zones - Yours and Theirs	p. 34
Summary	p. 35
Task and Relationship Tension - Productive or Unproductive?	p. 36
Task Tension	p. 36
Relationship Tension	p. 37
Rising and Falling Tension	p. 38
Moving from Relationship to Task Tension	p. 40
Summary	p. 41
Comfort - The Key to Trust and Confidence	p. 42
Comfort Opens the Way to Trust	p. 42
The Effects of Discomfort	p. 43
The Payoffs for Making Others Comfortable	p. 44
The Requirements for Comfort	p. 46
Summary	p. 47
Habit - Getting Beyond Comfort and Custom in Communication	p. 48
Comfort Zones and Habits	p. 48
Adapting - Better than Just Reacting	p. 50
Style Modification	p. 51
Summary	p. 53
Generalizing and Judging - Pros and Cons	p. 54
When Generalization and Judgments Make Sense	p. 55
Behavior, Feeling, and Thinking	p. 56
Summary	p. 58
Back-Up Behavior - Fight or Flight	p. 59
Fight or Flight Tendencies	p. 59
Back-Up Recovery Strategies - LSCPA	p. 62
Listen	p. 62
Share	p. 63
Clarify	p. 63
Problem-Solve	p. 64
Ask for Action	p. 64
Adapting LSCPA to Fight or Flight Behavior	p. 65
Summary	p. 67
Building Relationships - Entry, Dialogue and Closure	p. 69
Entry	p. 71
Purpose, Process and Payoff (PPP) Statements	p. 71
Credibility	p. 73
Dialogue	p. 74
Listening	p. 74
Exploring	p. 75
Integrating	p. 76
Closure	p. 78
Affirming the Agreement	p. 79
Supporting the Decision	p. 79
Enhancing the Relationship	p. 80
Building Trust	p. 81
Summary	p. 82
The Social Style Self-Profiler	p. 84
Social Styles in Depth	p. 88
Living and Working with Analyticals	p. 88
Analytical Expectations	p. 89
Entry with Analyticals	p. 93
Dialogue with Analyticals	p. 96
Closure with Analyticals	p. 97
Affirming	p. 97
Supporting	p. 98
Enhancing	p. 99
Adapting Your Style for Analyticals	p. 99
Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Analyticals	p. 103
If You Are an Analytical	p. 104
Summary	p. 105
Living and Working with Drivers	p. 107
Driver Expectations	p. 109
Entry with Drivers	p. 112
Dialogue with Drivers	p. 115
Closure with Drivers	p. 115
Affirming	p. 116
Supporting	p. 116
Enhancing	p. 117
Adapting Your Style for Drivers	p. 118
Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Drivers	p. 120
If You Are a Driver	p. 121
Summary	p. 124
Living and Working with Amiables	p. 125
Amiable Expectations	p. 128
Entry with Amiables	p. 130
Dialogue with Amiables	p. 131
Closure with Amiables	p. 134
Affirming	p. 135
Supporting	p. 135
Enhancing	p. 136
Adapting Your Style for Amiables	p. 137
Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Amiables	p. 140
If You Are an Amiable	p. 141
Summary	p. 144
Living and Working with Expressives	p. 145
Expressive Expectations	p. 146
Entry with Expressives	p. 149
Dialogue with Expressives	p. 150
Closure with Expressives	p. 152
Affirming	p. 152
Supporting	p. 153
Enhancing	p. 154
Adapting Your Style for Expressives	p. 155
Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Expressives	p. 157
If You Are an Expressive	p. 158
Summary	p. 160
Lessons From Social Styles Experts	p. 162
Speeding Up the Learning Curve	p. 162
Take It Slowly	p. 163
Don't Jump to Conclusions	p. 164
Stay Away From Stereotypes	p. 165
Be Realistic About the Power of Social Styles	p. 165
Be Aware of Styles Within Styles	p. 166
Accept People's Behavior as a Sign of Their Comfort Zones and Nothing More	p. 166
Observe One Dimension of Behavior - Assertiveness or Responsiveness - At a Time	p. 167
Observe Verbal and Nonverbal Behaviors - and Be Objective	p. 167
Start Assessing Styles Even Before Your First Meeting	p. 168
Use Introductions as Early Indications of Style	p. 169
Focus on Making Only Minor Modifications in Your Behavior	p. 170
Live By the Platinum Rule	p. 171
Value Diversity	p. 172
Selling is Easier with Social Styles in Mind	p. 174
Recognize When You Are the One in Back-Up	p. 176
Don't Expect Reciprocity	p. 178
Consistency and Integrity Matter Most	p. 178
Don't Try to Be Someone Else	p. 179
Appendix	p. 180
Resources	p. 183
Contributors	p. 186
Index	p. 188
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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