Stalking the Soul

Emotional abuse exists all around us-in families and work. Stalking the Soul is a call to recognize and understand emotional abuse and, most importantly, overcome it. Sophisticated and accessible, it is vital reading for victims and health professionals.

Marie-France Hirigoyen is a psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and family therapist based in Paris. Her studies on victimology in both France and the U.S. led her to further research in the area of stalking and emotional abuse.

Translator's Note

xi

Introduction

3

(10)

PART I EMOTIONAL ABUSE

ONE Emotional Abuse in Private Life

13

(38)

Emotional Abuse in Couples

14

(23)

Emotional Abuse in Families

37

(14)

TWO Emotional Abuse in the Workplace

51

(38)

What Is Abuse?

52

(2)

Who Is Targeted?

54

(2)

Who Attacks Whom?

56

(5)

How the Victim Becomes Disarmed

61

(6)

How Abuse Begins

67

(10)

The Organization That Permits Abuse

77

(5)

The Organization That Encourages Abusive Methods

82

(7)

PART II THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

THREE Emotionally Abusive Seduction

89

(6)

FOUR Communication in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

95

(20)

Refusal of Direct Communication

95

(2)

Distortion of Language

97

(3)

Lies

100

(2)

The Use of Sarcasm, Ridicule, Contempt

102

(3)

The Use of Paradox

105

(4)

Invalidation

109

(1)

Divide and Conquer

110

(1)

The Imposition of Power

111

(4)

FIVE The Stages of Emotional Abuse

115

(8)

Hatred Becomes Overt

115

(2)

Abuse Comes into Play

117

(3)

The Victim Is Cornered

120

(3)

SIX The Abuser

123

(13)

Abusive Narcissism

124

(1)

Narcissism

125

(1)

The Transition to Abusiveness

126

(1)

Megalomania

127

(2)

Vampirism

129

(3)

Denial of Responsibility

132

(1)

Paranoia

133

(3)

SEVEN The Victim

136

(15)

The Victim as Object

136

(2)

The Victim as Masochist?

138

(3)

The Victim's Scruples

141

(3)

The Victim's Strength

144

(1)

The Victim's Naiveté

145

(6)

PART III CONSEQUENCES OF ABUSE

EIGHT Consequences of the "Seizure of Power" Phase

151

(7)

Withdrawal

151

(1)

Confusion

152

(1)

Doubt

153

(2)

Stress

155

(2)

Isolation

157

(1)

NINE Long-Term Consequences

158

(9)

Shock

158

(1)

Decompensation

159

(3)

Separation

162

(1)

Evolution

163

(4)

TEN Practical Advice for the Couple and the Family

167

(5)

Reorientation

167

(2)

Action

169

(1)

Psychological Resistance

169

(1)

Legal Intervention

170

(2)

ELEVEN Practical Advice for the Workplace

172

(11)

Reorientation

172

(1)

Finding Help Within the Organization

173

(1)

Psychological Resistance

174

(2)

Action

176

(2)

Legal Intervention

178

(3)

Organizing Prevention

181

(2)

TWELVE Taking Charge Psychologically

183

(15)

The Healing Process

183

(8)

Psychotherapeutic Options

191

(7)

Conclusion

198

(3)

Afterword by Thomas Moore

201

(4)

Notes

205

(4)

Bibliography

209

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Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials