The Suffering of Joy

A man can only hope to find peace of mind after a long military career. Unfortunately, life can be cruel. The brutality of war ingrains itself, and the trauma of childhood returns as a ghost. What goodness the future may hold shall be taken away. When that happens, the lengths a man must go to to get it back will challenge his morality. He will face the monsters, both the real ones and those born of maddens.

At the early age of life, Alexei McConville began writing as little more than a way to pass the time. He knew nothing of what he really wanted in life.

He scored high on his SATs, opening endless avenues that could have provided great success. He attended the University of Hawaii, transferred to Evergreen Stat College, and then to South Puget Sound Community College. He did well in school and could have obtained an Associate Degree in Computer Programming, but he had no passion for the work and switched his major to Architectural Drafting and Design. However, as he neared the end of that path, one semester away from obtaining yet another Associate Degree, he dropped out because that too was not important to him.

No longer in school, Alexei committed himself to a career in the kitchen. He had already spent several years working at a restaurant. Eventually, he switched jobs from a Team Member to an actual prep-cook position. A year following, he moved on to be a chef and almost obtained a sous chef title. And, again, that was not what he wanted, and he left that job. He seemed to have an aversion to success.

But Alexei never wanted success or the money and accolades that came with success. He just wanted something he would be happy doing for the rest of his life. That was when he finally realized what that was. It had been hard to see since he never thought about it as work. He simply did it because he wanted to. He had been writing his whole life loving the process of crafting characters and stories and scenes. He is a writer.

So, Alexei got a job that some might mock an adult for having. He did not care. He just wanted to save up enough money so that he could start self-publishing his work.

Alexei does not care what success he might obtain from this choice. His honest hope is simply to make the bare minimum that would allow him to do this forever. That's it. There are no grand ideals of becoming rich and famous. There is no interest that his words will change the world. If those come, great. But those do not matter. What matters is that his work is out there, and one person can find joy from them.